Anne Fadiman discussed “the paradoxically liberating power of restriction”, but I never understood what she meant.

This year, I returned to my wife’s hometown in Kumamoto with two young kids in tow. Just a few years ago, I would have felt quite resigned about my trip because I have been to Japan so many times and my wife lives in such a non-happening area and the world is so big out there so why do I have to keep going through the same experiences.

I guess even kidults will grow up someday after all. I can’t pinpoint how or why exactly, but I can feel a mindset shift in my cells and bones. If I can’t travel elsewhere in the world, then I should enjoy Japan to the fullest. So, I have been buying limited edition snacks and ordering the more expensive dishes. Basically anything that will help me experience a facet of Japan that I have yet to experience.

Even though my travel options were limited, I realised that this ironically enabled me to enjoy Japan more because I made it my business to. No second guessing, no overthinking, just blatant consumerism.

I don’t think this is an isolated example. Since I’m sorting out my photos now, I realise that my Maldives trip to celebrate our third wedding anniversary also provided lots of dividends. Precisely because my wife and I were ‘stranded’ on an island, we embraced wholeheartedly the activities that Baro Maldives had to offer. Snorkelling. Yoga lessons during sunrise and sunset. The most humongous maguro (tuna) I have ever eaten in my life. Champagne on a ferry ride. Massages. Chasing baby sharks.

Ironically, because I didn’t venture anywhere else - not even to the city area of Maldives - I found that my memories of these sedentary activities are sharp like Japanese knives. Could it be because I stayed 💯 in the moment because I have knowingly limited my ability to choose?

So, the morale of my story is deliberately restrict your autonomy. You may find that you experience more freedom and happiness because your psyche burrows deep within the parameters of your self-confined ‘cage’.