In that you are right, relationships should be free and not dependent. When you depend on someone lovingly, that relationship is going badly. We should love freely and not depend, because that is where depression comes from. You should love yourself and learn to love.

Msd0457890

This is good advice 

Her mind can change about kids. I’ve seen it firsthand 

Bell_curve

alter_native

Dear future me,

Fiat_Revelation

> if I lost her I know I would crumble.

This is a horrible way to start a relationship.  It will not work if you feel this way.  You need to be able to stand and lead on your own with or without your girlfriend/wife.

> This kills me when we argue

Do not argue with your wife/gf. If you are right state your truth and leave it at that and if you are wrong than change your statement/opinion.  Either way don’t argue.  It’s the fastest way to kill the polarity of the relationship.

Edit:  Also it’s a pretty big red flag for me if a girl doesn’t want to have a kids/family.  