The day has come for my annual letter to you. The one where I sit down to write about my journey in motherhood.

December 28, 2024 In a few months you will be 8 years old, boy do the years go by quickly.

This week while I was cleaning out your library I couldn't help but notice how things have changed in 3 years. Gone are the 8-piece puzzles in your library, or the 4-page stories with lots of pictures and few words, now you have a small collection of books over 100 pages long, with few or no pictures, board games like chess and monopoly, and the funniest thing is your very own tablet.

Everything has changed, I went from washing baby bottles, then training cups and now only adult cups.

I no longer choose what clothes you wear, you are the one who decides that, nor do I comb your hair because you already learned to do it yourself.

This year you started playing soccer, you love it and I love watching you play.

Magical thinking is fading a little from your days, but there is still that spark of illusion and magic in your life, you still believe in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy, although now you question their existence from time to time.

Every day I am surprised by your new questions and I am even more surprised when you give logical and very intelligent answers in different situations.

I love that you use your voice to defend yourself, to give your opinion and ideas, I love that you do not remain silent in the face of acts of injustice, I love that you defend your ideals no matter who your adversary is. Like that situation that happened at school, you wore a horned headband with sequins (it was an accessory you wore on Halloween), the teacher told you to take it off because it goes against her Christian religion and your response was: "If you have any problem with my headband you can call my mom, she gave me permission to wear it and I will continue to do so." I admire your courage and self-confidence. As a child, I would never have dared to respond to an adult. As I have gotten older I have realized that there are adults who want to take advantage of their age to trample on younger people, rude and despotic people who believe that no one can say anything to them because they are older, that is something I have always wanted you to learn, respect is earned, if a person disrespects you, no matter how old they are, you must defend yourself respectfully and I will be there to support you.

It's been almost 8 years and we still sleep together, hugging you is one of my favorite moments of the day and of my life.

I was reading one of the first letters I wrote to you where I said "I'm looking forward to the day when you can read and can read all the cheesy stuff I write to you," that day came sooner rather than later and I still have a hard time believing it. I have a collection of letters for you, so you can always read how much I love you.

Every year I have the same wish: That you have good health, a long and beautiful life, I also wish to have a long life so I can spend a lot of time with you, see you grow and mature, be your support, your guide and your company, your shoulder and hugs when you need them.

My motherhood began as an unexpected and improvised journey, and it has been the best thing in my life. Every year I will ask you for forgiveness for my mistakes and lack of patience. I swear that every day I strive to be the mother you deserve to have.

Motherhood seems to be based on feeling guilty most of the time, whether it's for having pizza for dinner and feeling like I'm the worst mother for not giving you a nutritious dinner or feeling guilty for not playing enough. In addition to guilt, motherhood comes with a constant feeling of mourning for the changes brought on by the passing of the years. The grief of getting over the fact that you are no longer a babbling baby who feeds from my breast, the grief of seeing you change every year due to your beautiful growth. That day has not yet arrived and I already fear the day when you are 16 years old and I miss days like today, when you are playing Pokemon with daddy, missing your strange sounds and noises, your innocent voice, your fantastic ideas and thoughts, seeing you dressed up as a princess or a fairy. Watching cartoons while we eat candy, taking you to the park and seeing you run at 100km per hour, your clothes full of sparkles, rainbows and unicorns.

That's why I enjoy every day with you and I'm grateful for the joy of being able to care for you, love you and educate you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I swear I'll do my best to keep up our tradition of "girls day" where it's just you and me doing fun things.