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232 sats \ 1 reply \ @Heisenbergbitcoin 5 Jan \ on: Channels mostly_harmless
My outbound capacity is extremely high. I make it a point to help anyone to the highest possible extent. I am what you call a “Yes man”. Yes to everything and then think about how to actually solve the problem at hand. This can be quite stressful. I have realised I need to either reduce my inbound capacity or at least the flow and to be particularly selective about whom I choose to help.
This is true in various aspects of life such as work, relationships, and love. Heck, I have even helped strangers so many times without any expectations in return.
My inbound capacity depends on the aspect of life. For example, my inbound capacity to criticism is the lowest. I take everything personally. Hugely working on getting this capacity higher. My god, now that I said it loud, it makes me feel lighter. Thank you SN folks for the opportunity to express. Also in general my inbound capacity is lesser because I ask for help lesser than what I provide.
Also the country/city that you live in hugely affects these capacities I think. For example in the Nordic countries, most people have lesser outbound capacities. This can affect you if you are used to larger inputs from others.
Regarding friendships irrespective of time frame my outbound capacity is high. And sadly the cost of maintenance of the channels of many close friendships is high inspite of my high outbound cap. It’s just not possible when people move to different countries. Timezones. Their own personal lives. Such are the tribulations of modern lives.
Once again thank you for this wonderful post. @elvismercury
Thanks for riffing on the metaphor :)
Also in general my inbound capacity is lesser because I ask for help lesser than what I provide.
A lesson I can't remember where I learned, but that has really stuck with me, is on the power of asking for things. Not the "you can't get stuff if you don't ask for it" takeaway, although there's a lot of truth to that, too. (There's a Benjamin Franklin story about this I can't locate atm which is also worth reading.) But in the less-well-understood sense of "letting people help you is a gift to them."
For people like you -- who give more than they ask for -- it can be amazingly powerful to let others be of service. You should try it and report back :)
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