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What do you say to someone who has had a miscarriage?
476 sats \ 10 comments \ @bief57 18 Feb ideasfromtheedge
It hurts so much to lose a little person you don't even know yet. You have to give up the idea of ​​being parents, buy a crib, decorate a room, choose a name, wait with great excitement for the person you will love the most in your life. "It's a girl" you shout with excitement to give the news to your family, but then you wake up with a lot of bleeding and pain, you are hospitalized for days, you feel defeated and at the same time you cling to a thread of hope praying that the fruit of your womb survives, but there is nothing to do, she is gone, she is gone.
What do you say to a partner who is going through this pain? Not writing to give them space makes us look indifferent, and writing to give comfort makes us look intrusive.
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143 sats \ 3 replies \ @Aardvark 18 Feb
There's no magic words for that, you just have to be there for them. Listen without trying to fix it, be supportive in whatever way you can. Be forgiving if she lashes out.
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42 sats \ 1 reply \ @Undisciplined 18 Feb
I agree. It's a low point that can't be repaired quickly.
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38 sats \ 0 replies \ @bief57 OP 18 Feb
Yes, they need their space to process what they are going through, to cry and to do whatever their bodies ask of them to go through the stages of grief.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @bief57 OP 18 Feb
Thank you, you are absolutely right. I could only give them a hug without any more words, because the reality is that there are no words for these situations.
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21 sats \ 3 replies \ @plebpoet 18 Feb
a great pain. I was just reading poetry by an Irish woman writing out of a similar pain. That collection of work is called Scuplture in Black Ice. I think poetry is a place for pain to be exercised. Reading or writing. Reading your own thoughts on the page is healing. Writing them down hurts, but works.
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21 sats \ 1 reply \ @plebpoet 18 Feb
I made purchase of this book, and I want to share one poem from it because I believe in its power. The Light in my Window i I remember the early years of anticipation
imagining how I would tell him the good news
planning a special supper before the fire
choosing to tell him at that moment I lit the candle between us
picturing on his face joy and wonder.
ii At the clinic in Mullingar our candle was snuffed.
In silence we drove home to mourn.
I opened the wardrobe, wore black clothes,
went to school: smiled at my pupils, talked to colleagues;
while a she-wolf howled across the tundra.
iii We completed application forms, answered
intimate questions, strangers inspected our home.
iv At last, I discard my black garb.
With strands of colour plucked from the light in my window weave a long flowing robe.
I open the door wide, step outside into a sun-bright garden
and I know the four children racing towards me
mine beyond flesh beyond blood.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @bief57 OP 18 Feb
It's beautiful, adoption is a blessing for many children
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @bief57 OP 18 Feb
The best works of art come from the purest feelings. Thank you for telling me about this fact.
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42 sats \ 1 reply \ @Akg10s3 18 Feb
If a hug is possible... it is totally valid!!
It is a gesture that repairs hearts and heals the soul!
Life will continue and heal and strengthen that mother with love if possible!!
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @bief57 OP 18 Feb
I agree with you
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