Dear Mrs. Young; I am writing to you yet again to complain about your sons' behaviour at school. All of their teachers have come to me with a range of complaints from abusive language to obscene gestures to obstreperousness verging on violence. Malcolm is a certainly old enough to know that his constant humming is neither amusing nor impressive. The few times a day he puts pen to paper it turns out he is writing what appears to be poetry of some vile sort. Angus does not stop eating chocolate bars and Smarties long enough to pay attention to his teachers and his work. His uniform is filthy, his knees are constantly bruised, his eyes blackened, his nose running. Won't you please, Mrs. Young, have a talk with Malcolm and Angus to help us try to make them into responsible citizens. Yours very sincerely, R.K. Lanning, Headmaster