There came a time when, after many years, I finally managed to respect my own "No's."

Having been a guilt-ridden, polite, and "good child" from infancy, I would instinctively give in to others' requests. Complaints would make me melt and surrender.

Then came an age when my psyche, suffocating under countless "yeses," hit the red zone and got seriously angry with me.

A long-overdue rebellion began with the smallest things. No, I won’t force myself to finish a book I have started if I don't like it! If I don’t like it, I’ll give it up to 60 pages. If it doesn’t grab me, I’ll leave it. No, I won’t be a prisoner to incoming phone calls. After years of therapy, I’ve exhausted myself listening, absorbing other people’s anxiety. I get overwhelmed easily.

No, I won’t run to invitations just to avoid upsetting someone by declining. I can’t even spend too much time with friends because my battered musculoskeletal system protests, and I’m in pain. I don’t go out at night for dinners and gatherings. I don’t attend funerals because mourning certain people hurts too much, and I want to grieve alone, without an audience.

I still deeply love the friends I’ve loved, I think of them often, I wish them well, I write to them, but I can’t spend hours with them like I used to. I know some are upset with me for this, but if their love isn’t also my freedom, I don’t want it. I was excessively social, but I’ve finally grown tired.

People change their daily lives with time, with problems, with new events. Let’s focus on the essence of our relationships, dear friends—the core! If someone tries to guilt me with complaints, I get angry. Guilt used to drive my life, and I paid the price.

We grow older, and no, age is not just a number.