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Probably could tweak relaying to lower minimums, but that hasn't happened in part because going below the base units becomes indistinguishable from spam

I disagree.

Min relay fee was introduced in 2013, when BTC was worth ~$100.
A sat is now worth 1000 times more. If the value of a sat was sufficient to prevent spam in 2013, why can't we use a fraction of it today to prevent spam?

Nodes can use 0.1 sats/vbyte (or less) as min relay fee today. So, if a tx has 138 vbytes, it would need to pay at least 14 sats in fees (you need to round it up).

Great, if you're certain then create a BIP to change it so we can tell the forkers to gfy

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