Maybe we will never meet José. He is a mechanical engineer who works in a shop repairing vehicle air conditioners. After finishing high school, he decided not to go to college because he thought it was a waste of time. Instead, he tried his luck at a technical school for electromechanics near his house. On the first day, he fell in love with what he saw, and he did very well.
At first, he was just an assistant. Later, he managed two warehouses under his leadership, and eventually, he became the workshop manager. When a wave of corporate mergers came, José was not left behind, and the workshop where he worked was absorbed. For the better, he was appointed as General Manager of three workshops. Life was going well, but it was time to think about the future.
Amidst many jobs, he remembered reading or hearing about a coin... Bitcoin or something like that, which seemed to make sense as an investment source, not savings. He wanted to save for his retirement, so he went to a meetup near his city where they taught him how to set up his own self-custodial wallet. They taught him how to buy and sell, how to send and receive. He was happy. Like a dog with three tails, José now had power in his hands, and he knew it.
Let’s skip the next few months. He kept saving, and through a simple DCA (Dollar-Cost Averaging) program, he bought every month, and his portfolio grew significantly. As his social media algorithm started pointing towards crypto content, José began to see Bitcoin influencers talking about ETFs, how politicians were entering the political arena, taxes, withholding, account freezes, and a bunch of other stuff.
One of those afternoons, a friend of his brings over a new strain to smoke, saying it has hallucinogenic components. After taking some and feeling the effects, the friend asks José how his Bitcoin investments are going.
Despite giving him a positive answer, he takes a long sigh and tells him about the future.
“The last time I went to a meetup, I found too many Bitcoiners focused on three things: politicians (not politics), ETFs, and non-economy topics, plus taxes. I told them I had read Facebook’s employee manual where one of the points says, ‘If we don’t create what will kill Facebook, someone outside will do it,’” he paused, looked into his friend’s glassy eyes, and continued.
“They called me crazy. They started telling me that countries would adopt Bitcoin, start buying, and begin regulating more seriously. What they didn’t realize is that they are already doing it.” His friend took a heavy drag, José did too, and then he began explaining the plan for governments to passively take away your Bitcoins.
“Step 1: The government won’t buy anything. It will simply use the monopoly of force to seize everything they can. By breaking down doors and seizing equipment, they will have enough leverage to start negotiating... this stage is crucial: don’t buy anything. Just flex the muscles to the population and remind them of their place in the world, that death and taxes are mandatory, even if you pay your taxes from the grave.”
The friend remembered something about Trump’s Reserve, or was it Bukele’s? It got mixed up in his head, but he looked at José and, in silence, asked him to continue.
“Step 2: Some will start showing sympathy to gather votes. That’s easy: politicians hunting with legal fantasies. Until, at some point, someone will say it’s time. Before that, there will be some who try to do things their way but won’t be able to. Organizations controlling monetary policies will step in and won’t let you do anything until they figure out what to do, and then...” José interrupted himself with a heavy drag, “...then comes step 3.”
“Step 3 is the most complicated. They will have to convince the population to hand over their Bitcoins, but passively. Executive Order 6102 in 1933 was a disaster of catastrophic proportions. Not to mention the gold looting of 1915 in the British Empire, which Europeans themselves rarely point out. So, what do we have in favor as a government? Legality. Okay, then, how do we get people to start giving their money voluntarily? Just like they were doing at the meetup: talking nonsense about politicians, projects with the state, and so on. And here’s the Trojan horse: ETFs.”
“Many people don’t understand, but the government will take its share and ‘recommend’ to investors that the best way to stay compliant with their tax obligations but still participate in the decentralized market is through Wall Street instruments. People will go directly there, put their Bitcoins on centralized exchanges, and won’t realize that, at any moment, step 4 will begin.”
They stare at the stars while José points at a star, it's a large one, probably a planet exploding thousands of light-years away.
“Step 4 is what I call voluntary selection. The ETFs will become a sort of bonds to maintain state power. They need a valuable instrument to sustain their power, and through promises of fair regulations and consumer protection, your Bitcoins will end up directly under state control. The correct way to buy Bitcoin will now be through ETFs authorized by friendly companies and regulated.”
“This, without ever forgetting that the raids on decentralized exchanges will continue. Through the weight of the law, they will try to go against those to keep confiscating. It’s true they won’t be able to hack my private key, but they’ll pull out my nails, kidnap me, and drug me to reveal everything. And then the final step... the kidnapping of Bitcoin.”
“Step 5 is the takeover. As we know, there are rebellious souls because people like me know that ETFs are a corrupt instrument of a corrupt government led by the same people who caused the 2008 crisis and other previous years’ crises so severe that WE ended up paying for them. How do you take us out of the game? You can’t, but you discourage us — a classic sabotage tactic.”
“The first step is to get involved as volunteer developers in the Bitcoin Core. They will start well, just fixing bugs, participating. But one day, they will start offering pull-request packages, with small backdoors or intentionally doing things wrong. We will denounce them, but they will say it’s a conspiracy, that the government isn’t trying to take over anything, and everything will continue as usual.
The second step is to nominate a pro-ETF person within Bitcoin development, allowing this developer to lead projects related to creating ETF-Bitcoin integration. At that moment, capitulation will begin, new Bitcoin forks will emerge, and the whole scheme will restart. But the government already controls the core, completely forgotten amid ridiculous news about prices, who’s buying and who’s not. Today, it’s more important if BlackRock bought than to check what’s happening in the Core.”
The friend realizes he’s getting hungry, looks at José seeking company, and José ends with one sentence.
“It’s the stuff from that herb, man. People wouldn’t be so stupid to fall into this game... I feel like eating some pupusas.”
And that’s a story, folks. Is it true or not... could it be?