my deepest condelesence for your loss brother, i hope that he is in a better place and may your grandma get well sooner you have got my prayers man. actually you know in such times it is better to stay off light like reflect on your ideas like whatver you feel feel it and let it find its way through you from sadness to grief. i guess it is better option if you listen to pink floyd song "comfortably numb" and especially this vrsion i think it fits the way you feel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kWl-ZGMwkQ hope that helps brother.