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Privacy and Teenager - How to raise awareness among young people
469 sats \ 17 comments \ @_Bubble_2009 8h AskSN
I have a teenager daughter. Now she is 13 yr old and obviously has a smartphone. I have always tried to raise awareness of the importance of privacy. With a lot of reticence on her part, I also played her some podcasts that explain the importance of storing sensitive data.
To the great disdain of the mother (she wanted to give her an iPhone) I repaired an Android phone. I tried to prepare an ungoogled phone, but in the end I had to give up because some apps that she needs for school, do not work with the micro-G.
Then, to my great regret, I had to install WhatsApp, which is anything but privacy-oriented.
I have done everything possible to disable voice assistants, AI and anything else I considered harmful from the phone, but now I find myself WhatsApp natively integrating an AI and I find myself with my hands tied. Let's not talk about how much she started to use states, and I had to inculcate her what to post and what not and above all to whom to give visibility and who not.
That said, I often hear her talk about apps that her classmates have, but as much as I don't want her to feel different from her friends, I have no intention of installing Tick Toc, Instagram, and SnapChat on her phone. At least not until I am sure that she has understood the risks of publishing sensitive content on these social networks.
I may now appear to you as a bigoted and oppressive father, but I've seen too many bad things happening on the internet not to be seriously concerned.
I suppose that here there are other parents with whom I can compare myself or someone who can advise me on how to educate a thirteen-year-old girl to privacy.
Thanks in advance for your reply.
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57 sats \ 1 reply \ @Signal312 6h
I don't think privacy is necessarily even the worst issue - it's the constant time suck, the lack of interest in other human beings, the inability to talk to people that the smart phone encourages/enables.
I kept my son on a flip phone for years. He was fine with it - I actually think he got a lot out of it.
But very recently he sat me down, and said, "I need a smart phone". And we got him a used Android phone.
Luckily he's VERY aware (maybe because of me, or seeing his friends constantly with their face on the phone?) of the dangers of smart phones. On his own, he installed the Stay Free app, which provides reporting on how much time you're spending on the phone. He has very few apps on it, even deleted the browser which I didn't know you could do.
It's a very, very difficult problem, and most especially with teens nowadays. I think you're ABSOLUTELY justified in being extremely strict with the phone. You don't want your kid to be in the majority of teens that doesn't know how to talk to people, that has their head constantly at a 90 degree angle.
Yes, it will impinge on their social life. Maybe try to get with other parents to coordinate limits. People are desperate for solutions/alternatives to this.
That whole, "they need to learn self control" thing is easy to say, but it's very hard for teens to do, especially with a product as addictive as the smart phone apps are designed to be.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @_Bubble_2009 OP 5h
Thank you for your answer.
In reality, she does not use it much and, indeed, often forgets it at home.
But I think he would like to have much more freedom in choosing apps, while instead the installations must be approved by me.
On the one hand, I don't want limit her too much, but on the other hand I want to keep her under my wing because she is still very naïve.
Imagine my status when (the few times it happens to me) I look at his WhasApp and see deleted messages in chats.
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5 sats \ 1 reply \ @OT 8h
#941383 had an interesting podcast about this issue. In the end the teens need to learn self control. Sounds like you've done your best and hopefully something will stick.
My kids are still young so this won't be a problem for some time. I know it's going to be hard though.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @_Bubble_2009 OP 7h
My kids are still young so this won't be a problem for some time. I know it's going to be hard though. I am happy for you that you have no problems with your young children. Unfortunately, my daughter, has a fake cousin who has owned an iPhone since she was 3 yr old, so she has been pushing for a phone for a long time. Besides, this little girl, have this smartphone without blocks and therefore she had complete access to the internet and YouTube.
I also thank you for the link, I'll take an in-depth look at it over the weekend.
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0 sats \ 6 replies \ @ChrisS 5h
I don't think young teenagers should have smartphones. The negatives far outweigh any positives. There are many better options to give a young teen for communication(calls and texts) than a smartphone.
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0 sats \ 5 replies \ @_Bubble_2009 OP 5h
I guess you don't have children, because (unfortunately) nowadays, teachers write their homework in an electronic register that can be consulted via app.
This register can also be consulted from a computer, but generally it does not work and a smartphone or tablet is required to be able to perform the tasks.
The school is even considering abolishing books from next year, using only tablets. This would be good for the backs of the pupils, but a big bad for everything else.
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0 sats \ 3 replies \ @ChrisS 5h
I do have children who will not be getting a smart phone despite what any school or teacher may do. You could get your child a tablet for school work only and not a smartphone.
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0 sats \ 2 replies \ @_Bubble_2009 OP 5h
I don't know what age your daughters are, but if they are teenagers, I imagine that all their friends and classmates will have a smartphone, don't you think they can be excluded or penalized for not having a smartphone?
As I wrote in a previous reply, a cousin of the same age as my daughter had an iPhone when she was 3 yr old, other classmates had a smartphone at 5 or 6 yr old.
She had a tablet for children, without internet at 8 yr old and then, when the school moved all communications between teachers and students to an APP, I had to give in and get her a smartphone, but only at 12 yr old.
If, on the other hand, you manage to keep your teenage daughters without smartphones and without making them feel marginalized, I give you all my sincerest congratulations.
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10 sats \ 1 reply \ @ChrisS 4h
don't you think they can be excluded or penalized for not having a smartphone?
The negative effects of teenagers having a smart phone are far worse than not having one. There are other ways to communicate and coordinate with friends than a smartphone. Many positives of a smart phone can be achieved using things like a dumb phone(or even a smart watch) or a computer.
when the school moved all communications between teachers and students to an APP
The last people I am worried about when trying to decide how to raise my children are govt funded schools and teachers but If i decided it necessary to use an app for education I would prefer a tablet over smart phone.
If, on the other hand, you manage to keep your teenage daughters without smartphones and without making them feel marginalized, I give you all my sincerest congratulations.
I will try my best. I hope you can keep your daughter off instagram and snapchat etc...
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @_Bubble_2009 OP 3h
The negative effects of teenagers having a smart phone are far worse than not having one. There are other ways to communicate and coordinate with friends than a smartphone. Many positives of a smart phone can be achieved using things like a dumb phone(or even a smart watch) or a computer.
I do not agree with this. I have never wanted to use Whatsapp and I guarantee you that for this reason I am penalized both for private relationships and in the working world. So, if an adult is not able to accept my choice and does not adapt, imagine teenagers who tend to isolate the "different"
The last people I am worried about when trying to decide how to raise my children are govt funded schools and teachers but If i decided it necessary to use an app for education I would prefer a tablet over smart phone.
I can share your idea of preferring a tablet to a smartphone, but in this case I should equip my daughter with a tablet with connectivity and a phone to be able to call. Personally, I opted for a used smartphone in which I set several blocks.
As for the school, I cannot agree with what you say because I chose a private school for my daughter. It is a very expensive expense, but for my daughter I am saving on other less important things to provide her with a high level of education.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Signal312 5h
I was told by my son, that some teachers will actually ask the kids to do things on smart phones. And it's true, they have occasionally asked the class to do something requiring a smart phone.
If this happens, you need to raise a fuss about it. You can change things. Make it difficult, make them have a loaner smart phone (a pain in the rear to keep charged and available for everyone) to prevent your kid from being excluded.
This whole area is in a state of flux. There's also classes where supposedly the smartphones have to go in a cabinet, not to be touched by anyone during class time.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Turdinthepunchbowl 6h
Just teach your kids hard work ethic first and that nothing is given to you, you must earn it. Maybe then they won't trade privacy/freedom for convenience.
Even full formed adults don't give a shit about privacy. I have tons of friends and coworkers who share their location at all times with people via their iPhones and it makes me cringe.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @_Bubble_2009 OP 6h
It would be nice to be able to do what you say, but then you see on 9-year-old YouTubers who have a higher economic income than mine.
I work on average from 8am to 7pm with days when I finish even at 11pm, and every time we have to buy something, I make her think about the actual cost of the products, then, however, an advertisement on a phone game says that with two clicks you can earn like as a 9ry old YouTuber and all is vanished.
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0 sats \ 3 replies \ @Natalia 7h
I don't have any parenting experience, but how about using something else to distract her away from the phones? for example, teaching her some hand skills to make things?
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0 sats \ 2 replies \ @_Bubble_2009 OP 6h
I don't have any parenting experience, but how about using something else to distract her away from the phones? for example, teaching her some hand skills to make things?
That for sure. We often visit flea markets and look for old things to restore. For example, we are now restoring a Cajon. In addition to this, she is enrolled in an association that fights with Laser Saber and takes a climbing course.
Too bad that in both associations, he finds people who post videos on IG or TikTok and we are full stop.
Moreover, the mother who has no qualms about it, quietly leaves your phone in her hand to watch reels on IG or Facebook.
It is really difficult today to be able to educate children to an ethical use of internet.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Natalia 4h
I noticed that if people connect with others offline or are busy with something, for example, learning, then they tend to spend less time online.
That for sure. We often visit flea markets and look for old things to restore. For example, we are now restoring a Cajon. In addition to this, she is enrolled in an association that fights with Laser Saber and takes a climbing course.
May your daughter isn't that keen on these things? I mean that must be reasons why she more into those videos on IG or TikTok?
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @_Bubble_2009 OP 4h
I noticed that if people connect with others offline or are busy with something, for example, learning, then they tend to spend less time online.
This is certainly, in fact I have already said that he often forgets it at home or does not look at it for hours.
I'll give you an example: today that she is home from school, I sent her a message on Telegram at 11.22 am, she read it only at 2 pm.
I wrote this post, to get advice on how to best raise awareness of privacy now that she is a teenager so that when she has full access to the phone she can make conscious use of it.
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