journal-006 \ stacker news ~mostly

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2211 sats \ 10 comments \ @ek 16 May mostly_harmless

Dear journal,

you were meant to be a developer diary. You were meant to contain the progress I made every day on the new wallets. You don't, because I was too embarrassed of my progress. I am usually in PlebLab from 12pm to 12am so you would think I get a lot of stuff done. I don't. I am so long in PlebLab because I don't get much stuff done, because I am ashamed of myself, because I think I need to work longer to compensate how slow I am.

I think it's a terrible idea to share this. I'm still considering if I will, but at the same time, it feels important to share this. I will feel relieved.

I also don't want to be a person that can't share their failures.

Disclaimer: all commit timestamps on Github are wrong because I rebase a lot.

Yesterday, I thought I was done with designing the new wallet schema and I could start to update the Javascript code but then I noticed (again) that I forgot that I haven't updated four other tables (DirectPayment, InvoiceForward, Withdrawal and WalletLog) yet.

I updated them in bc0df957 but I knew this wasn't going to work because the new wallets will have different IDs. This is what I fixed in 25306b34 today. To test that I actually fixed it, I added some payments to my test data in a9705e80.

Fortunately, my test data contained a wallet without any configuration, which meant it wouldn't get migrated to the new schema. For some reason, this turned out to be a problem. I expected such wallets to simply get deleted and any row linking to them removing the link. However, the migration failed because a withdrawal couldn't find the wallet it's linked to anymore. Therefore, I will need to look into this tomorrow. I need to make sure I understand what's going on to be confident in the wallet migration. If something like that happens in production, it's going to be really bad.

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44 sats \ 1 reply \ @sox 5h

because I think I need to work longer to compensate how slow I am.

Once, in the same scenario, a friend said 'take care of your mental health', so in response to this, take care of your mental health!

It's clear that our job is subjected to copious amounts of stress, in our case, by our own unmet expectations. We end up being frustrated for a while and in some cases also angry at ourselves, then it happens that we succeed and move on.

But at least in my case, I don't reflect before or after moving on. This is bad. My psychologist always try to cheer me up, but words feel empty when you don't believe in them yourself. And maybe I should believe in them, otherwise I'm just wasting money in therapy.

Long story short, it's the reaction to our own unmet expectations, coupled with messed up levels of self-esteem, that fucks with our job.

(therapy is kinda cool btw, you get to talk to someone without being afraid of judgement or wasting time because you're paying them! We already talked about this, but it kinda is the only real cure)

66 sats \ 0 replies \ @ek OP 2h

My experience with therapy is that it only sets a lower bound on the suffering, but it doesn't make it go away by itself. For that, one needs to change their life, and that is only possible outside of therapy sessions. Therapy sessions are just advice, but the advice needs to be applied. At some point, I just felt like I knew what my therapist was going to tell me, so I didn't really need it anymore. And I don't want a new therapist because then I have to explain everything all over again. I don't want that. I've done it three times already.

I already know what I have to do, I just need to do it. 👀

111 sats \ 1 reply \ @itsrealfake 16 May

you're being honest and upfront about your concerns. you'll look back at this in 6 years, from a place of having advanced considerably, and you'll be pleased at the opportunity to reflect.

nice.

thanks for being vulnerable in public & for working hard. don't forget to touch grass in that 12hr workday

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ek OP 16 May

thanks for reading, appreciate the reply

don't forget to touch grass in that 12hr workday

I should put a patch of grass on my desk haha

67 sats \ 0 replies \ @realBitcoinDog 16 May

I zapped 1000. I appreciate you sharing the journal! Showing u working 12 hours a day, just for little progress.

It’s the grit you keep working that makes me know we will win 💪

No embarrassment. Good testing before shipping! 🚢🚢🚢

0 sats \ 4 replies \ @LibertasBR 19h

I hope you shared this was a relief for you. For me, the reader, your post is more human and interesting to read. What is New Wallet?

19 sats \ 3 replies \ @ek OP 4h

Hey your node is rejecting my payments, at least that’s what my wallet logs tell me:

What is New Wallet?

I’m currently more or less rewriting the wallets so they are easier to use.

0 sats \ 2 replies \ @LibertasBR 2h

In log shows how you had canceled.

19 sats \ 1 reply \ @ek OP 2h

Yes, that's expected. We cancel invoices on payment errors.

Can you pay invoices to your own node?

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @LibertasBR 2h

I was using Blink and now I removed it and put another custodial one. Thanks for letting me know.

Edit: I managed to pay a blink bill now.