🔥YOU ARE IN HELL - BUY BITCOIN AND GET OUT NOW🔥

Let’s take a tour of what’s left of the American Dream for the working class in 2025.

You wake up at 5:15AM because your Walmart alarm clock won’t stop screaming.

You can’t hit snooze because you’re already late for your $19/hour “Team Lead” shift at Dollar General, where you’re responsible for managing 3 underage cashiers and the 47-year-old alcoholic who “floats between stores” because corporate HR keeps transferring his HR files instead of firing him.

You drink a Keurig pod of hazelnut coffee your mom bought with a Buy 2 Get 1 Free coupon from ALDI, and you scroll TikTok for 12 minutes watching single mothers in yoga pants do “morning reset” vlogs that look nothing like your reality.

Their kitchens have granite countertops.

Yours has peeling linoleum and a jar of expired peanut butter from the local food pantry that you “haven’t gotten around to throwing away yet.”

You throw on your embroidered company polo that still smells faintly like the Marlboro Reds your stepdad chain-smoked in the trailer before the divorce, and you pray your 2008 Chevy Malibu starts.

The air conditioning makes a clicking sound like a dying rodent trapped in the vents.

Gas is $4.10 a gallon but you’re only putting in $14 because that’s literally all that’s left after your Wells Fargo overdraft fee hit at 2:00AM last night.

You’re hoping your Instacart side hustle tips will cover dinner tonight.

If not, you’ve still got some Tyson chicken nuggets in the freezer that you can microwave and dip in expired ketchup packets from Sonic.

You drive past six empty strip malls that used to house Blockbuster, Payless Shoes, and a family-owned diner your grandma loved before it was replaced by a vape shop that somehow also does payday loans.

A homeless man wearing a winter coat in May is pushing a shopping cart full of Mountain Dew bottles down the median.

You think to yourself, “Well, at least I’m not him yet.”

You arrive at work and your boss hands you a clipboard with today’s “corporate expectations.”

The store needs to hit a 16% upsell rate on extended warranties for off-brand Bluetooth speakers made by a Chinese subsidiary of BlackRock.

You’re competing with your coworkers to win a $15 Starbucks gift card that the store manager “personally bought out of her own pocket” to “motivate the team.”

At lunch, you sit in the breakroom next to the 62-year-old woman named Patty who still works 30 hours a week because her husband’s pension got vaporized during the 2008 financial crisis.

She eats a ham sandwich wrapped in tinfoil and quietly watches reruns of The Price Is Right on her cracked iPhone 8 while you scroll Zillow listings for $289,000 starter homes with $2,200/month mortgage payments that your lender’s preapproval email says you “might qualify for” - if you can get your credit score above 680.

Your friends? Half of them are addicted to vapes, Adderall, or whatever synthetic fentanyl they can get from the gas station guy who “knows a guy.”

The other half post Facebook stories about how they’re “manifesting wealth” while reselling Shein clothes and MLM collagen packets that cost $49.99 per month.

Your cousin just announced she’s pregnant with her third child from her second baby-daddy, who works at the car wash detailing lifted F-150s that are financed at 10.9% APR for 84 months.

They’re having a gender reveal party next week at Applebee’s.

You’ll go because they’re doing half-price apps.

You come home to your two-bedroom apartment that costs $1,200/month even though the air smells like cat piss.

You microwave some ramen noodles, scroll X, and watch people talk about “generational wealth” while you mentally calculate whether you’ll be able to afford to rotate your bald front tires next month.

This is FIAT HELL.

BUY BITCOIN TO ESCAPE THIS FATE.