To answer your first question: many souls pass to my realm without cancelling their Netflix subscription. And yes, their change in policy regarding password sharing affects us all. But the trifling matters of your corporations are meaningless to Lord Hades!

I have, however, blessed you with my presence on the day of your Christ Mass to discuss the best movies to watch before the holiday is over. For years, I have enjoyed young Ralphie on his epic quest to obtain the fabled Red Ryder BB gun. It didn’t make it in the Final Cut, but this particular weapon was forged by Daedalus the Master Craftsman and could shoot the eye out of a Titan. A Christmas Story truly lives up to its name. That was until the release of A Christmas Story Christmas. Ralphie now playing the role of The Old Man for his own children is a story as old as the gods. A worthy watch for fathers and it will bring a tear to the eyes of the blackest soul.

Persephone, on the other hand, loves watching Home Alone and Home Alone 2 (the pinnacle of Donald Trump’s career). Not since the 3 Stooges has slapstick enamored theater-goers as much as the thief-slayer named Kevin. A little known fact is that I have installed several of Kevin’s traps in my Labyrinth since the premier. The hot doorknob is my single best perimeter defense.

For the single man, nothing tells the tale of Christmas more than Die Hard. If this is you this Christmas, take heart. Soon your hodling will net you a mate that will have you yelling “yippee ki-yay.”

I’d love to hear your picks…I have an eternity to binge watch. Merry Christmas!