To what extent do you value alone time? \ stacker news ~AskSN

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211 sats \ 18 comments \ @cryotosensei 5 Sep AskSN

This argumentative question appeared in the General Cambridge of Education “O” Levels for English Language:

** ‘We should all value time spent alone.’ How far would you agree?**

Was surprised to come across this question posed to 10th graders (15-and-16 year olds). After all, these teenagers should still find it easy to make friends and maintain connections. They spend half the day on their studies and co-curricular pursuits. They are also at an age when they need to find their tribe and would frown upon the thought of being alone. Alone = loneliness is an irrefutable equation for them.

Personally, as I spend time at work and with my family, I increasingly feel the need for solitude. Sometimes, I would rather have lunch alone than partake in inane chatter with colleagues about - of all things - work. Add to this a preschooler’s incessant questioning and a toddler’s tantrums, and you might end up like me. Savouring a cup of coffee late in the afternoon just because. Lying down in bed for 15-20 mins before I embrace my kids back into my life.

Is alone time an important priority for you?

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31 sats \ 2 replies \ @Coinsreporter 5 Sep

I have to value it so much given we live in a joint family. It's like you're never alone.

Every now and then I make a solo trip to the mountains and live there for a few days without any disturbances. For me it's like taking pause, dissolving in myself.

21 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 5 Sep

I’m so jealous. This year, I only went out thrice at night to socialise with my friends because I am always needed at home. A solo trip of several days would do well to recalibrate my mood

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Coinsreporter 5 Sep

My solo trips has forever been rejuvaneting for me. When I used to work, I did them in my holidays. But now when I'm free I actually realised the real importance of them where I even don't have to care about time. Sometimes you can even find 'the pause' in a solitary place nearby. Maybe you can recalibrate in a short trip to a solitary place. Try your options.

48 sats \ 1 reply \ @adlai 5 Sep

I think it's also important to distinguish between being physically alone but digitally social, and truly being present with yourself, for yourself. Both the examples you gave towards the end of your post (the cup of coffee, or resting in bed) are quite different if you add to them, "scrolling through memes" or "arguing on twitter".

I found an old booklet about meditation recently, and have considered adopting an actual meditation practice for a few minutes each day. Even in the time I spend just thinking alone, I've noticed that I'm still always thinking deliberately towards some goal, rather than simply letting my subconscious float up whatever it's been waiting to tell me.

9 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 5 Sep

I agree about the distinction. Total exemption from the outside world is crucial.

Interesting. My mind doesn’t summon ideas so purposefully and systematically. They come to me when they least expect it, like showering.

I wanted to integrate mindfulness into my routine, but I found that if I did have spare time, I would rather nap haha

48 sats \ 1 reply \ @rootmachine 5 Sep

For me, my alone time is my alone time and it is a priority. As a kid I was a bullied and forced to stay afar from other kids and in order to not fall into the dark side of being bullied and seeing this as a sort of punishment, I thought myself that my alone time is a normality and relaxation. I basically took this as a great opportunity to observe others and learn to be better, to read, to watch movies, to listen music, to practice skills, etc. For me it paid off on the long term. From what I observed the need for alone time comes as a reaction to being overwhelmed or bullied somehow. Think about that super quick and see if I am right.

To those thinking this can't be right, take a pause from time to time and do solo something new you never did alone before. You will find new things about yourself.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 5 Sep

Your insight about being overwhelmed hits the nail on the head for me. It’s like alone time is my cue to retreat from the big bad world and try to recenter myself.

Oh I love travelling solo! Nothing gets my adrenaline rushing than arriving at a new city with my backpack on my back

24 sats \ 1 reply \ @Entrep 5 Sep

Probably when I'm dead else it's the hustle now

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 5 Sep

Woah. Do you have a 5 to 9 after your 9 to 5?

24 sats \ 3 replies \ @Scoresby 5 Sep

I hugely value my alone time. I've always been this way, but having children exacerbated it.

102 sats \ 2 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 5 Sep

Would you consider SN time as alone time or socialising time?

24 sats \ 1 reply \ @Scoresby 5 Sep

I hadnt thought about thus before.

I think I would, but perhaps I should not. It doesn't feel quite the same as alone time when I'm writing or reading something. Yet it's not as immediate as socializing in person.

How do you feel about it?

102 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 5 Sep

Online interactions are a bit iffy, aren’t they. I would classify them under socialising time even if I were to type my comments alone at a coffee shop. I think the mental effort involved in crafting them (how much I should say and the best choice of words to convey my thoughts and do I need to take into account my different cultural context. Basically decisions) means that SN to me is more effortful than reading.

24 sats \ 1 reply \ @398ja 5 Sep

I need to be alone in order to be with people again. Without that time alone, I cannot be functional. This is very important to me. When interacting with others there comes a time when silence and solitude calls me back. I try to heed that voice. I think everyone has this, no?

Also, what I also found out, is that you can find that silence, even when surrounded by noisiest people, you can be alone, even while interacting with others (to a certain extent!). That's a superpower

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 5 Sep

I felt that way this Wednesday during Teacher’s Day lunch because I have only been at my new school for 10 weeks. I still don’t know the names of many of my new colleagues haha. But I would say I felt more lonely than alone

24 sats \ 1 reply \ @brave 5 Sep

I think it’s brilliant to get teens thinking about the value of solitude, even if they might resist it.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 5 Sep

Agreed. Another year, one question required students to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of being childless

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @stack_harder 5 Sep

i value it quite a bit , probably more so as i've gotten older. luckily i would say i get a fair bit