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Solving a Problem
320 sats \ 10 comments \ @cryotosensei 27 Sep the_stacker_muse
My fifth graders have to sit for an essay writing competition. It is no stroll in the park because they not only have to base their story on a picture, but also write to address a theme.
They are not natural writers, so it would be a Herculean task trying to stretch them to write intriguing plots with sophisticated vocabulary and elaborate descriptions. I realise that I need to leverage short sentences that deliver a mighty powerful punch. So, my attempt is listed below. Ngl, I used ChatGPT to make it easier for my students to digest after I had written my first draft. That’s why you can see italicized phrases; they belonged to my original effort.
——— “I’m not going to pass (make it for) the Japanese Language Proficiency Test,” I groaned heavily. I stared in dismay at the books on my study table. My examination was approaching, but I still did not understand many things. I felt that this problem would just eat me alive.
I was doomed. My heart sank.
I decided to run to clear my head. While running, I thought about how I could solve this problem. I analysed my situation. I had very little time and too much content to cover. Desperate, I needed to apply effective study habits.
I used the Pomodoro technique; studying for just 25 minutes enhanced my concentration. I also started to revise my work before sleeping. Sleeping on the material helped me remember new words.
However, disaster struck. (a spanner was thrown into the works.) My school needed me to organise a summer camp for eager students. My study time got trimmed like the crew cut that was trending among boys these days. I tried not to panic.
Determined to stay in control, I trimmed the fat from my schedule. No more video games. No more social media. I brought my notebook everywhere and studied every time I could.
The day of the examination arrived. The questions were difficult, but I doggedly tried my best. I just did not want any regrets.
After the examination, I resumed my life. However, I had to get used to the frantically flapping butterflies in my stomach. The day of the results release finally arrived. I opened the envelope.
Woah! I passed!
Tears of joy fell down my cheeks. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
This incident taught me the importance of sheer resolve. Since I never wavered in my determination, I could apply problem-solving skills to secure a pass. If I never gave up, there was no problem I could not solve. I was delighted to have become more resilient.
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59 sats \ 7 replies \ @dot 27 Sep
My friend, problems like these often share a similar solution structure. If you’d like, I can share it with you. I also teach my students the basic structure first. Then, based on their own experience and imagination, they can create diverse and rich stories.
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18 sats \ 6 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 27 Sep
Yes, pls do!
Glad to meet another teacher here!
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48 sats \ 5 replies \ @dot 27 Sep
  1. The data you receive is raw data. With raw data, the first thing to do is name them. Here, the kids might give answers like:
  • plan / blank sheet of paper
  • phone
  • man holding his head in the middle of a pile of books
  1. Step two: guide the kids to connect the raw data with actions or what might happen.
  • draw, write, fold, crumple, throw the blank sheet
  • call, listen, answer, hit the phone
  • the man keeps holding his head, or stands up, or pushes the pile of books around
  1. Next, recall the emotions related to these two pieces of data. For example:
  • writing on the blank sheet gives a fresh feeling, a start for something new
  • folding and throwing the blank sheet gives a feeling of discarding
  • phone rings, talking on the phone gives a feeling of sharing
  • man holding his head, then standing up gives a feeling of frustration
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24 sats \ 3 replies \ @dot 27 Sep
  1. After brainstorming actions and emotions, go back to the task. The task is to solve a problem.
  • choose one detail from the above as the problem
  • choose one detail as the development
  • choose one detail as the result
Guide the students to work step by step like this, and you will see very interesting outcomes!
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48 sats \ 1 reply \ @dot 27 Sep
Based on the data above, I can come up with a few story lines:
  1. The man answers the phone, and there is a voice on the other end ☎️👂. After the call, he becomes very confused and collapses into frustration, holding his head and thinking at the table 🤯🪑. Suddenly, he takes a piece of paper and writes on it ✍️📝. After some reflection, he may have found a solution for the phone call problem 💡✅.
  2. That day, the man received a task note from his boss 📝. He opened the paper and thought hard, but couldn’t understand what his boss meant 🤔. He held his head and pulled his hair, moving from annoyed to frustrated 😣💢. After thinking for a long time ⏳, he decided to call his boss 📞 to confirm. His boss said the note was sent to him by mistake, it was meant for another department 🙃. After hearing this, he breathed a sigh of relief 😌.
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15 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 28 Sep
I like that you used the word data.
It makes creative writing less formidable. You distilled it down to an analytical approach that everyone can use
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 28 Sep
What happens if your students can’t go beyond mere description of their characters’ feelings? Actually, even if they write that their character is happy/sad/shocked/disappointed, they are already in a different league from their peers. I find that most kids tend to focus on actions. Having said that, my job is to teach them to sprinkle Show Not Tell phrases to enliven their compos
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 28 Sep
This is a great idea. I haven’t thought of analysing the pictures this way. Your method reminds me of stop-motion animation. What is the next thing the character is likely to do? Definitely a springboard to generate ideas
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48 sats \ 1 reply \ @billytheked 27 Sep
Well done! It is definitelty clear enough for your students to understand and you demonstrated the basic story arch elements, which I tried to outline below ...
(I had to access the memory archives from my ninth grade English class for this one; how'd I do?)
[Some character exposition]
“I’m not going to pass (make it for) the Japanese Language Proficiency Test,” I groaned heavily. I stared in dismay at the books on my study table. My examination was approaching, but I still did not understand many things. I felt that this problem would just eat me alive.
I was doomed. My heart sank.
[Rising action]
I decided to run to clear my head. While running, I thought about how I could solve this problem. I analysed my situation. I had very little time and too much content to cover. Desperate, I needed to apply effective study habits.
I used the Pomodoro technique; studying for just 25 minutes enhanced my concentration. I also started to revise my work before sleeping. Sleeping on the material helped me remember new words.
[Conflict]
However, disaster struck. (a spanner was thrown into the works.) My school needed me to organise a summer camp for eager students. My study time got trimmed like the crew cut that was trending among boys these days. I tried not to panic.
Determined to stay in control, I trimmed the fat from my schedule. No more video games. No more social media. I brought my notebook everywhere and studied every time I could.
The day of the examination arrived. The questions were difficult, but I doggedly tried my best. I just did not want any regrets.
After the examination, I resumed my life. However, I had to get used to the frantically flapping butterflies in my stomach. The day of the results release finally arrived. I opened the envelope.
Woah! I passed!
[Climax]
Tears of joy fell down my cheeks. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
[Resolution]
This incident taught me the importance of sheer resolve. Since I never wavered in my determination, I could apply problem-solving skills to secure a pass. If I never gave up, there was no problem I could not solve. I was delighted to have become more resilient.
reply
11 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 27 Sep
So flattered that you took my writing so seriously. This is all the validation I need haha
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