Phoenix with ACINQ will give u a really high payment success rate and easy integrated "swaps" on/off-chain using splicing;

the downside of Phoenix is less privacy (since everything is routed thru ACINQ node) and higher routing fees;

Start9 thru Tor and ur own hand-picked peers will probably make u struggle; Tor performance is variable, and picking peers is an art; altho i know people with Start9 who don't have issues routing payments thru Tor using their public (announced) channels, i don't think that's the norm; u want a good LN experience, especially for demonstrating to someone the power of bitcoin, wen opportunity arises;

all-in-all, be not afraid of testing the various tools; u will pay sats for the education, and become more confident; even the custodial CoinOS.io is great for quick payments from any internet-connected computer; u shud be able to use bitcoin whenever, wherever; do not put all ur sats in one lightning basket;

read Darthcoin guides for more detail;