But then as more of this idea got onto the page, something I subconsciously hold back from myself came through in the lines that I won't identify with.

I think this is something I've felt before, too. Sometimes you get a little idea, something to write and you are pretty sure it is you. But then you get to writing and the idea takes hold, rakes over, even and you sure don't recognize it as something that is you. Or you hope it isn't. It's a little unnerving. But also it's some of where good writing comes from.

Thanks for sharing the poem. I enjoyed it very much.