one regrettably common behavior I find all over online discussions these days is the presumption that any disagreement is either a debate, or an argument.

sometimes people can just shoot the shit without either one even needing to convince the other of something...

although yes, your general message of understanding the other side is an indispensible one, regardless of whether it is a formal debate or just a casual comparison of ideas that might not be contradictory although aren't identical.