As I posted recently, I just switched to graphene. Whether it's the solution for everyone I don't know. It should be easier for me since I have avoided Apple my whole life, and have been gradually weaning myself off google. I think a combination of an open source option, and a self sovereign server storage setup like Start9 will serve my purposes. Start 9 or equivalent is my next move. That will of course incorporate my node and maybe a nostr relay.