Senator Elisabeth Warren announced that in a show of solidarity with her crypto regulation bills, she will scale back the rate at which she purchases bitcoin.

In her press release, she asks rhetorically, “How can Americans put food on the table in an unsafe financial environment? Also, how many of you think North Korea and Hamas will go fight themselves?” Open-ended questions, to be sure, but she seems to have the answer: “It is our duty to keep Americans safe from money laundering, tax evasion and terroristic regimes. And today I am leading by example! I am reducing my daily stacking goals by four percentage points”

Not everyone was as excited about the development, and critics were quick to point out that this implies she has no intention of heeding Jamie Dimon’s advice to close it down completely. “If she has been secretly buying 1.5 btc per day, she can still buy 1.44”

In a recording leaked by James O’keefe, Gary Gensler is caught livid at the news: “just stack hard, you stupid b*! I’m not making this opportunity for your theatrics!” 2 minutes into the recording he calmed down as he realized, “maybe this applies only to her Operation Fluff account and not the others.”

David Solomon somewhat less emotionally involved, cheerily tweeted out “more sats for me.”

The Bitcoin price was unaffected by the news. —— If you like my satire, send sats.