Here's a story about some relatives of mine, an elderly couple, how they planned to take care of themselves later in life, and how it's been turning out.
The husband was big planner, in his career he managed huge multi-million dollar projects for large entities. They have a significant amount of assets, not huge, but enough.
Years ago, the husband searched extensively for the best continuing care facility around. Continuing care facilities are a type of retirement community, desiged to keep people in the same place as they age and have different needs. They're usually very expensive. They visited multiple facilities, and decided on one that was very highly ranked, and definitely had luxurious surroundings.
They got on the wait list, which was LONG, many years. Finally this past year they were lucky enough to get into this facility. The move and transition (they got rid of a lot of stuff but still brought a mountain of things) was a huge stressor, even with help.
And now they're in this facililty. The place is definitely nice to look at, quite luxurious. And there's features you could boast about. HOWEVER in visiting, the thing that struck me most was...how dead it seemed. Nobody was walking around. Even in the main community area, almost nobody was around. I think all the residents just stay inside their apartments/homes.
The employees were not terribly unfriendly, but they definitely weren't overflowing with friendliness. Yes, it was luxurious, but lifeless. One person with a dog that I chatted with a bit, and thought was a resident - turns out she was a paid dogwalker.
My relatives have almost not used the community restaurant at all. You can get meals delivered to the home, and they do that. I think it's because the restaurant is "fancy", white tablecloth, and so they think they need to dress up (and maybe most people do), so they don't want the cognitive strain. They haven't used the gym, or anything else.
What they need most is getting out into the world, taking a little walk in a place where there's a little bit of life, someone to encourage them to get out and meet people, and maybe go to the gym. But with all the luxury, there doesn't appear to be someone at this very expensive facility who visits, see's how they're adjusting, suggests that they actually use the gym, tries to help them solve the little problems of daily life (how can you order things online if your computer skills have decayed)?
What are your experiences with care of elderly relatives? What are your plans for taking care of yourself, later in life?