@cleaningup12 asked me what does parenting in Japan look like. This gives me the opportunity to reflect on how my wife raises my kids - and whether there are just good universal parenting methods or best practices used by the Japanese. Here goes.
My Baby Girl Watches TV
You know how it’s not encouraged to let infants below one year watch television because the dazzling visual stimulus will affect their brain development.
Which is sound advice by the WHO but practically impossible to implement in my household.
Thankfully, the Japanese have made television programmes specifically aimed for kids aged 0-2 years old, so honestly sometimes we “dump” our daughter in front of the TV set while we busy ourselves with the chore. I feel zero guilt because knowing the Japanese, I’m confident that they have done research into making great educational content for babies.
Here’s an article about how a non-Japanese spouse came around to the idea of letting her baby watch TV: https://tinytotintokyo.com/japanese-educational-tv-shows-for-babies-and-toddlers
Expressing Thanks
Japanese people love their food. Seriously. If you stay in Japan for several months, you will be surprised by the wide array of cooking programmes on their TV. Ngl, I thought that they are superficial for being so obsessed with food, but I have since come to understand their respect for farmers and chefs who dedicate their lives to perfecting their produce and dishes.
Anyway, that’s why I think this profound respect for food is translated into the rituals the Japanese take on at the dining table. We raise our kids to say Itadakimasu (Let’s eat) at the start of a meal as well as Gochiso samadeshita (Thank you for the good food) at the end.
My baby girl is conditioned to do so because if she doesn’t clap her hands at the start 👏, she doesn’t get her food. Haha. Which she is very willing to do so, because she has inherited the eating gene from her mum.
Expressing thanks isn’t confined to mealtimes, either. I’m now getting my boy to practice Danshari, the art of throwing things as a means of decluttering. Before he parts with a toy and throws it into a bin, we all say “Arigato gozaimasu” for the good memories it has given us.
Celebrating Milestones
I’m sure Western parents take their precious to a studio for a photo shoot when their child turns one. Japanese parents do this and then some.
Besides the one-month photo shoot, we also celebrated Tango-no-sekku (端午の節句) on May 5. My parents-in-law posted a samurai figurine all the way from Japan to us:
Since my boy turns five this year, we are looking forward to celebrating the Shichi-go-san festival on November 15. My boy will wear traditional regal-looking clothing called hakama - and we will visit a temple near our home to pray for his good health and longevity. Even though we are based in Singapore, my wife is determined to bring this tradition alive for my boy.
I hope this piece enlightens you somewhat!
prisonsold people’s homes is a symptom of distorted values. Families in the U.K. are predominately only concerned with their immediate household, not cousins, not grandparents, not uncles & aunts. The elders are treated like out-of-touch has-beens, not people of knowledge & wisdom. That’s what I appreciate about South American and Asian culture. It’s great to see children being raised with this in mind.