We are pregnant \ stacker news ~meta

2418 sats \ 35 comments \ @ablunderfilledlife 1 Mar meta

Again! This next little one will make 3 for us. By the time this kid comes along, my oldest will be 5 and my current youngest will be 2.

We are a single-income family since the decision that we would homeschool the kids. We are happy with that choice since it aligns with our values.

Earning, investing, insuring, budgeting--all these I need to get better at. I am not a complete idiot, but I fall short in many of these aspects. For instance, I haven't bought life insurance yet.

I don't plan to push college like my parents pushed on me. Unfortunately, I also don't think I'll be offering my kids the opportunities to travel and explore interests that my parents afforded me.

I have enjoyed the enriching discussions about parenting initiated by @cryptosensei. Their theme is consistently about how to be there better for our kids and about appreciating our time with them. This post is not that. This post is about the nitty gritty of providing.

My question for you is what advice do you have about preparing for my family's future? What's the best advice you received in this regard?

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41 sats \ 1 reply \ @hodlpleb 1 Mar

if you don't need 2 vehicles, don't keep 2 vehicles
be thoughtful/efficient about your trips to the store, you don't want to have to go out again because you forgot something
if you can get a regular night when the kids sleep out (grandma's, aunt/uncle, whatever), work that out.
the more time you spend being organized, the smoother things will run
batch your work: do all the mail, cook lots of food at once, etc, all at one time
automate/systematize everything: bill pay, lawn cutting, kid schedules, sleep, shopping, etc

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @ablunderfilledlife OP 1 Mar

Your house sounds like it runs like a swiss watch. It's beautiful.

Thank you! I need to work on the batching. I am working on the 1 vehicle solution.

78 sats \ 6 replies \ @Undisciplined 1 Mar

Congratulations!

You're helping us win the Battle of Ideas through sheer numbers.

I'd say you seem to be on the right track The first step is just realizing you need to take another step.

When I was a poor, single, college student (so, not at all in your situation), I was fastidious about budgeting. I divided all my expenses into four categories: Housing, Food, Education, Leisure. Then I allocated 40%, 30%, 20%, and 10% of my income to those categories, respectively.

That approach worked really well for me. Of course, you'll probably need different categories and/or weights, but imposing constraints can be very helpful.

52 sats \ 5 replies \ @ablunderfilledlife OP 1 Mar

Thank you! That's a pretty sensible breakdown. Did you keep that approach throughout your life, and did you ever add retirement to that list?

21 sats \ 4 replies \ @Undisciplined 1 Mar

My wife manages most of the finances now (my lackadaisical attitude towards getting bills paid drove her nuts) and we have retirement accounts from work.

Fortunately, we aren't stretched super thin financially at the moment.

31 sats \ 3 replies \ @ablunderfilledlife OP 1 Mar

Paperwork is a soul-sucking skill that I have yet to exercise healthily. The bills, the insurance--all of that my wife has graciously agreed to take charge on. She's the color-coded calendar whiz that I am not.

I think if we sit down and agree on our allocations, she will gleefully account for them.

108 sats \ 2 replies \ @Undisciplined 1 Mar

I literally used envelopes of cash for this. After cashing my paycheck, I'd divvy it up into the four envelopes and that's what I had for those purposes until I got paid again.

It was very effective, but I think it would be overly inconvenient for someone managing a family budget.

32 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei 1 Mar

The cash envelope system is a Japanese method called kakeibo!

Some online banking platforms like Chase allow you (as in the generic you) to manage virtual envelopes. But that is assuming that you aren’t aspiring to get out of the fiat system haha: https://www.chase.co.uk/gb/en/hub/kakeibo-saving/

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined 1 Mar

I hadn't thought about it, but this method would be very simple with bitcoin too.

16 sats \ 1 reply \ @davidw 1 Mar

Congrats! Another native bitcoiner coming into this world, who knows no different than having magic internet money available since day 1.

Unfortunately, I also don't think I'll be offering my kids the opportunities to travel and explore interests that my parents afforded me.

Never say never. A lot can change in 10-15 years when they’ll be willing to consider this for themselves.

42 sats \ 0 replies \ @ablunderfilledlife OP 1 Mar

I won't say never, and I'll keep my hopes up. I'd like to work to make them real though. Some of my best memories are traveling with my family to some amazing countries. Vietnam and Italy come to mind especially.

16 sats \ 2 replies \ @030e0dca83 1 Mar

Present him these 100 sats. It should be more valued when your next one will come to this world

8 sats \ 1 reply \ @ablunderfilledlife OP 1 Mar

Thank you! I'll tell him @030e0dca83 says hello and hodl.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @030e0dca83 1 Mar

I tell people around me how we'll live with Bitcoin standart buy coffee with one sat, work for sats, etc and people don't believe me Your child will easily live in new reality

16 sats \ 1 reply \ @jgbtc 1 Mar

Congrats. Same here, 3 kids and single income. My only advice is live modestly.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @ablunderfilledlife OP 1 Mar

Ah so you know! Well, I'll definitely be spending less time at the roulette wheel, and I'll be enjoying a lot of rice and beans for a while.

10 sats \ 1 reply \ @Fabs 1 Mar

You really live up to your nym, congratulations 🎉🎉

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @ablunderfilledlife OP 1 Mar

Haha I couldn't help myself!

10 sats \ 6 replies \ @arrivederci 2 Mar

Saying "We are pregnant" is woke speech, in my opinion.

The biological reality is that only the woman, after conception, is pregnant. A couple can not be 'pregnant'.

10 sats \ 5 replies \ @ablunderfilledlife OP 2 Mar

Wokers ruin everything. "We are pregnant" actually predates those gender-swapping ideologies.

10 sats \ 4 replies \ @arrivederci 2 Mar

"We're expecting a child" is the traditional phrase.

"We are pregnant" is the new, biology denying phrase.

A man saying that he is (jointly) pregnant is using the same type of speech as a man saying that he is a woman.

10 sats \ 3 replies \ @ablunderfilledlife OP 2 Mar

10 sats \ 2 replies \ @arrivederci 2 Mar

Appreciate the graph, cheers.

I accept the trends shown but don't trust the quantisation of the use of each phrase, i.e. I don't accept that the use of "we're pregnant" is higher than "we're expecting". I think it would be very easy for google to get that count wrong. I'm very confident that "we're pregnant" is still in minority usage even in the USA, the most woke, the most language abusing, and the most detached from reality country in the world.

But anyway, what's noticeable is that trending use of the cringey "we're pregnant" dates from the 1970s. I'm nostalgic for the 70s but I also understand that that decade marks the beginning of the degeneration of (Western) culture & society and the abandonment of traditional values. The nonsensical and degenerate idea of 'transexuality' dates from that decade too, btw. (Or at least, the start of the political push to mainstream it.)

I found a forum entry from 2007 on WordReference discussing whether ppl say "we're pregnant" in other languages. There's reported usage in Spanish but most ppl in that discussion are saying, no, we don't have it and it's truly weird.

And I think if you go to any country in the world that still holds on to traditional values, say Indonesia, or Kenya, or Russia, or Vietnam, and try to tell ppl that you and your wife are 'pregnant' they will either laugh in your face, or look at you strangely, or just write you off as a crazy (Western) foreigner. Women get pregnant, men don't. A fundamental biological fact.

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ablunderfilledlife OP 2 Mar

(Note: this reply was written with fun-loving cheekiness, not malice)

I think you might be experiencing what's known as confirmation bias. Don't worry it is very human and it is non-lethal mostly.

What might worry you is that it's common among the very group with whom you are shadowboxing, the woke, who decry micro-aggressions wherever they go. As an example, they might hear the term "blacklisted" or "blackout" and think it has some racist origin or connotation. Any attempt to describe to them the real, non-racial origins of the terms or that they are not meant in a racist spirit might be met with absolute doubt and refusal.

Similarly, rabidly feminist people might think the ikea manual is mansplaining to them.

I feel I need to prepare you: in the coming weeks, if I do post about our pregnancy, I may use the word "he or she" or "they." Do not worry! We aren't waiting for the baby to pick it's gender; we just haven't found out the sex yet.

When you start thinking like a hammer, everything looks like a nail. You have a worthy mission, defending biology and unmasking transgenderism. Don't allow your passion to blunt your reasoning. We need sharp and sober in this culture war.

10 sats \ 0 replies \ @arrivederci 2 Mar

Let me also be clear; I intended absolutely no malice towards you in picking this little fight about your usage of this expression. I like your account and I particularly like the humility (and humour) exhibited in your choice of username. I'm also happy that you are expecting another child and are looking forward to it, and perhaps even excited about it.

But I still think the usage of that phrase is wrong and offensive to the very special role of women, in that only they can bring children into the world, a role that is celebrated in traditional cultures but that is being washed away by language such as you have used here, even when you (still) can't see it.

1 sat \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei 1 Mar

Congratulations!

It’s great that you and your wife are playing to your strengths. You sound like me. I don’t bother about recording every expense I make and maintaining a budget. I get the bills paid, but I don’t quite know how much I have left until my next pay cheque. I mean, I could, but the nitty gritty of managing drives me nuts.

I actually downloaded a budgeting app before my son was born. But because I don’t like to fuss so stringently about money, it never took root.

So the best advice I can give is to set SMART financial goals. I intend to save $5k for my daughter and another $15,300 for my retirement fund this year. If I manage to attain these two goals by 31 Dec, I will then save $5 for my son. Rinse and repeat.

You bet I’m super motivated to reach these goals. Because I monitor my destination, I know how much more I have to save.

I’m also good about chalking small wins. So I spent about 30k sats to buy a food takeout voucher from Bitrefill. Consequently, I transferred an equivalent amount to my daughter’s account. Doing so keeps me on my toes and makes me feel happy that I’m crawling towards my goals. Haha

Money is a game. Have fun gaming it!

1 sat \ 0 replies \ @0xbitcoiner 1 Mar

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Bell_curve 3 Mar

We are expecting

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @doofus 1 Mar

Building a supportive community around your family is incredibly important, especially as you navigate the challenges and joys of raising three children on a single income and homeschooling. Having a network of friends, family, and like-minded individuals, whether through Stacker News, local homeschooling groups, or within your own circle, can offer emotional support and practical advice and resources. The value of a supportive community cannot be overstated, as it enriches your family's life in countless ways and helps you feel less isolated in your journey. We went through the pandemic totally alone, and didn't plan for that eventuality.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @OT 1 Mar

Congrats!

Also planning on homeschooling our two.

I'm interested to know why you won't be looking at doing some traveling with the kids? I think its a great thing to do as it opens up your mind and forces you to look into your beliefs and culture.

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Signal312 1 Mar

Congrats on the third. A lot of people wish they had more kids.

Don't stress too much about money. Lots of people with lots of money have crappy lives. Work on production (i.e. doing things yourself, making your own fun) vs consumption.

Embrace frugality. A good older book is The Tightwad Gazette. Some of the advice is dated, but the mindset is timeless.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @ablunderfilledlife OP 1 Mar

Thanks for the recommendation. I'm definitely going to pick up a copy!

It's not so much about the money but rather the money that buys me time with my family. I want to be able to spend as much time as I can with them to make memories and to help them love and support one another the whole way through their lives. Being there, being around is maybe the best I thing I can do.