456 sats \ 6 replies \ @grayruby 4 Mar \ on: What does it take to forge a strong family? meta
Proof of work.
Determine what being a strong family means to you. Find out what it means to your family members. Get on the same page in terms of what your family goals, values, and ideals are and work together to get there. Get on the same page in terms of where you are willing to compromise as well. You will never all agree on everything. What are you willing and unwilling to compromise on?
For instance, with my kids I am unwilling to compromise on effort, if they are going to do something I expect a full effort or don't bother but I also have to accept that sometimes they will say "I really don't want to do that" and I have to cut them some slack. Yesterday my son did not want to come with us to visit my parents. He wanted some free time for himself after catching up on a lot of school work during the week. I was disappointed because my attitude is "you don't know how long your grandparents will be around, you should spend every minute you can with them" but I also don't want to force him to go and be miserable so I let him stay home and told him "I would like you to come with me to see them next week" and he said "ok, I will".
Get on the same page in terms of what your family goals, values, and ideals are and work together to get there.
This is what I was thinking with this prompt, too. You want everyone rowing in the same direction.
A while ago I made a post about dual-income households vs having a stay-at-home spouse and this post reminded me of that family decision. It's easier for my wife and I to be on the same page than it might otherwise be, because almost all of her work goes directly towards supporting us. If she and I each had careers to navigate, there might be some frictions when our professional responsibilities conflict.
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I think it's very helpful, but so is being flexible about those roles.
My job description is basically to make money, play with the kid, assemble stuff, and then do whatever miscellaneous things my wife asks me to do.
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You want everyone rowing in the same direction.
My wife and I learned this lesson much too slowly on a tandem kayaking adventure during our honeymoon. I was in the front and had no idea why we were moving so slowly. Turns out she and I had a different idea of where forward was.
We are much better about going in the same direction now.
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Have you tried a tandem bicycle?
I think that should be mandatory in order to get married.
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I can't say I have, but the next chance I get, I'm not passing it up.
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