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the funniest outcome though would be if coinbase lost everyone's keys and we'd get, like, an omega rugpull

That would be the apocalypse rug…. Ironically users see their balances go to zero every time there is a green candle…. so at least they will be used to it.

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users see their balances go to zero every time there is a green candle

That is like the Hollywood social programming movies... preparing the clueless NPCs for what they already prepared.

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lol priming their customers for the rug, I like it

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@thebitcoinbugle here is your inspiration !
SN Saloon is an ocean of inspiration.

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sir, you've just described an "inside job", like many others happened in Bitcoinlandia (Mt.Gox, Bitfinex, FTX etc)

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