First, I must commend the size of the fight in your soul. You clearly are still engaged with life. That’s why you are taking on three territories because there are so many things you want to make right to this troubled world. I can’t find the article now, but you remind me of this grandmotherly lady who still travels/travelled around the world despite her old age. She wants/wanted to die travelling. I have always admired her spirit of adventure. Sounds like you two are kindred spirit.

Having said that, since your brain is always preparing for future events, why not allow yourself the grace to fill your tank every now and then? I’m reading this book “How to do everything and be happy” now - and the author has a habit of incorporating Boxing Day once every month into his life. In the UK, they celebrate Boxing Day, it seems. So, for once a month, he wakes up and listens to what his heart tells him and becomes entirely spontaneous for that day.

Sounds like something you may want to try xP