It is also wrong in terms of privacy IMO.

Digital transactions of gold (and cash) have zero anonymity for obvious reasons, so Bitcoin is superior here.

Physical transactions are equivalent, as it's possible to exchange Bitcoin offline (via OpenDimes or whatever). This is a moot point anyway because a) Offline transactions are inconvenient and increasingly uncommon and b) Fuckin' nobody buys directly with physical gold, they always convert to cash first.

I used to feel common ground with the goldbugs, but these days not so much.

I agree in spirit but gold is not just a shiny rock. Gold has been a pretty good store of value for thousands of years. That said, we now have bitcoin and comparing the to is useful to show some of bitcoin's utility it isn't even a fair fight.