and I range from wanting to be, to wanting to not have to be (if that makes sense)
Yup, that makes total sense. I know lots of people who are super capable but their lives are so rich outside of work that that's where they put their investment -- they are less "successful" by normal metrics, but as people they are super successful, and they're living lives they want. If I had a rich outside-work life I expect I'd probably be less angsty, too.
Although I've been wondering if angsty-ness is a trait more than a state thing, and this is how I'd be no matter what was going on.
this territory is moderated