I was speaking to a beautiful lady earlier who said that she didn't feel worthy. Whilst driving home I was pondering her comment and linking it back to a podcast I was watching the other day... the guy made some very good points, however he delivered them terribly (imo).
This inspired me to write a letter...
Dear self-worth,
What are you exactly, other than an utter pain in the arse?
Yep, I said it! A right royal pain in the behind, who quite frankly gets on one's nerves every time I hear your name muttered!
You will say that you are necessary to the human condition. That we all need to feel "worth". And, I don't disagree.
However, then you will say that we need to look after you and nurture you with self-love, constant healing journeys and self-care rituals.
But, can I ask you... why do we only hear your name when things seem to be crashing down around us?
You feed off our despair, off our anger, off our perception of fairness. When you are around we judge others and decide how much they are worth, others judge us and we in turn judge and compare ourselves. When you are around we think that we aren't good enough. We strive to make you happy, and when we don't you make us feel shame and guilt for not being able to. It doesn't seem to matter what we feed you... you want more and more.
You, self-worth, are a full time job that seems to have been pushed onto us.
I don't remember hearing about you when I was tiny, playing out in the garden with the worms and snails? I don't remember you when I was climbing trees, learning to read or singing a nursery rhyme full pelt on my way home from school!
You managed to sneak into my life slowly , and I have to give you credit because you came seemingly without invitation, gave yourself a seat in the front row of my show and I never even questioned why you were there! Well done!
I think you are there because we created you through story. We have been told that if we don't learn at a certain level, that we are not as good as the next. We have been told that if we are not quick enough, that we can't join the running team. We have been told that if we are too loud that we need to quieten down. We have been told that we are not our own number one priority and that others should come before us. We have been told that we are selfish if we dare to put ourselves first.
Then we have created you, self-worth. We have internalised these stories and turned them into the story that we are not good enough. That we are not worth it. That we are not worthy.
Then we are fed the narrative that everyone is worthy, which is true, but, in order to get our sense of self-worth back, we need to do certain things. We need to nurture you, and take a bath (amongst other things)!
But then, we are told that we don't have time to take a bath.
We feel guilty for not being able to look after you.
I have a theory!
We should tell you to do one! To F off! To go swivel!
We should stop worrying about you and stop feeding you, because let's face it... you are never satisfied and you are never going to let us rest.
We should tell you to swivel, because the less attention we pay you, the more we can actually start to live. The more we can enjoy the present moment, rather than worrying about what we have said or will say. We will stop comparing ourselves to others, stop judging ourselves solely on what we struggle to do, and remember what we are amazing at!
We will stop thinking that we aren't a worthy person because we got turned down for a job, but rather see that it was just because someone else was better at that thing, rather than a better person than us.
And, maybe... we will stop seeing worth as something to aim for, but rather already possess from the moment we were created AND that that worth will last for an eternity.
All my love, A very worthy being.
43 sats \ 1 reply \ @Taft 15 May
I was speaking to a beautiful lady earlier who said that she didn't feel worthy.
This is a very popular phenomenon these days. I think many of us have had such occasions in our lives, especially recently, when others have expressed that they feel unworthy. But when you see them and know their lives, you wonder why they have that opinion of themselves.
I believe that a significant portion of the responsibility can be attributed to what we refer to as 'lifestyle'. A very good friend of mine called it "Dead Style"!
Aaaah "lifestyle"! It's as though we are told to walk into a shop, pick out what we think is the best looking outfit and then never wear anything different! and then the drama if we want to change things up - not necessarily from ourselves but from those around us!
Exactly! We should flip the script on how we think about feeling worthy. The Universe went through a lot of trouble for us to exist right here and right now. If anybody did anything different in the entire history, I would probably not be writing this and you would not be reading it. OK, I am stretching this a little, but it is to make a point. We are here for the experience, and we are worthy of it by definition. Let us make it the best we can for all of us.
Very nice.
thank you :)
Dies that resonate with you?
You're bringing some awesome stuff, @Athena
I have just been stalking @Athena bio (i like to know who I am talking to) and I have to agree with you!
Thanks! She's a great teacher of Literature also immensely popular for her works. 😄
I can see why that is!
oh...you have just reminded me that I still need to reply to your post!
My post?? I haven't posted anything today.
the utopia post from the other day - i haven't been on properly since last week!
Ahh! Mu bad. I don't recall things until I scratch my head inside out
I think it's a really nice poem and will resonate for a lot of people and I am all about looking from within. However, the first question I asked after reading this was... Why do we have these expectations there? Where did they come from? Why do we feel the need to do more to feel worthy? If people want to change something about themselves then go for it - but surely regardless as to whether or not they do, they are still worth as much as the person next to them? Why do we not think highly of ourselves for being exactly where we are now? I have been stuck in the pursuit for worthiness, and I am sure I have read this poem before? I have found though, that by allowing myself to feel worthy, just as I am... I am then much more likely to change what I want to - for me.
Thanks forthe reply. I just gave this poem to one of my students while teaching in the college. They liked it so much and here I saw your post for the same topic. I just thought of sharing it with you.
Your post is amazing! If I had your post that day, I would have definitely reference sourced it.
Jeep up the good work dear. I like your writings.
You are more than welcome to use it whenever and however you like :)
I hope your student is doing well and I am really glad that the poem helped and I look forward to talking to you more on here :)
Sure, I hold the same view. Today, I've also met another literature girl on SN, wo we are now troika of literature girls. We can now form a fed, if you like. We hold much similar views.
I am intrigued on what this fed would look like?
Nice poem.
Love it. This one resonates with me profoundly now. Today is my "new year's eve"! The 16th of May has had a special significance for me for 11 years now, so for me, it's that time of teh year where I rumminate about previous and set expectations/goals for next "year" (minus the drinks and fireworks). It worked well while I was filled with hope and energy, but as routine settled in, it turned into a rumination on inner and outer expectations, things I hadn't achieved, etc.. Now I see teh effects on my self worth..
Yesterday, I came across the perfect quote on an episode of House: "You reaccess your life, when you make a mistake. You haven't." :)
Today I came across your post: serendipity! Thank you :)