164 sats \ 5 replies \ @Undisciplined 9 Jun \ on: How do feel about negotiating? culture
In principle, I like negotiation, for the reasons you describe.
In practice, though, I hate it. The insincerity of it really bothers me, as does the inefficiency.
If it's a situation where someone gives me a genuine initial offer that doesn't quite work for me, or vice versa, and we hash it out, that's great.
However, the norm seems to be intentionally giving bad offers, just in case you can sneak something past the other party. Then, the negotiation is just trying to figure out all the ways the other party is trying to intentionally screw you.
However, the norm seems to be intentionally giving bad offers, just in case you can sneak something past the other party. Then, the negotiation is just trying to figure out all the ways the other party is trying to intentionally screw you.
This experience made me wonder if that's the intention or just what a fair game entails. They can't safely assume you're honest and you can't assume they are honest either. You have to play to see.
If you trust someone though, know someone well, then I agree. It should suffice to not hide your cards and mostly trust they won't take a peak to gain an advantage.
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I'm sure a lot of my irritation is just from being a new member of the socioeconomic class that gets solicited.
Until very recently, I never lived in an affluent enough area that people would expect to get anything out upcharging their services by thousands of dollars, because no one could afford it and they'd just be told to take a hike.
Now I have neighbors with deep-ish pockets and the buzzards are constantly circling. I am confident that they know they're grifters.
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I've meditated on this a little more and I think part of what's going on is a perverse selection process in who you're likely to be negotiating with. Since most Americans seem to feel a bit icky about haggling and negotiating, they're going to avoid careers doing it.
Negotiation heavy jobs are then going to draw from whoever doesn't feel whatever weird shame the rest of us do. Well, it's no surprise then that our negotiations are often us vs some sociopath trying to scam us.
If bargaining/haggling/negotiating were more of a normal part of our culture, then more honest people would be involved in negotiations and they wouldn't seem so scammy.
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