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1943 sats \ 14 comments \ @Fabs 24 Aug ideasfromtheedge

Today I got out of bed with the task to ask out the girl from the library, and guess what? I did it.

I've packed my bag - because I actually did have to return some books -, got on my bike and off I went!

As I was getting closer, I started getting more-and-more nervous, coming up with both the best- and worst outcomes, but I simply had to bite the bullet, I thought.

Once I've had arrived at the library, I went in, gave her a casual "hi" and went off to return my books at the scanner, paid the due bill, packed my bag, and then there was only one thing left to do!

I've went towards the counter, but while I was fumbling with the scanner, a few people had arrived at said counter, forming a small line.

The old me would've said "Alright, another time", but this time I chose to simply go through with it, and while I stood there waiting for my turn, I got surprisingly calm- even the rambling in my head stopped!

Once my turn came, I casually walked up to her, gave her a smile and asked:

"Hey! I'd like to ask you if you'd be interested to go out with me tonight" ☺️

She replied with an adorable little smile, saying that it was a cute gesture, but that she already had a relationship going, thus, she kindly declined- And guess what? I was surprisingly cool with it!

Why? Well, even though I got a "No", one could tell that I had managed to brighten up her mood, and imagine my surprise that life indeed does go on?! I'm even surprisingly keen on asking out the next girl! 🤭

The girl from the gym wasn't around when I was there this afternoon, so I'll leave that one for another time, but there's a little festivity in the town this evening, which I'll have a look at and maybe I'll find a few other opportunities to ask out some girls there instead!

Guys, if you're nervous or anxious about asking out a girl, don't overthink it, just bite the damn bullet and be amazed at how simply it really is.

Soon-To-Be-Suave Fabs, out!

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348 sats \ 1 reply \ @Taft 24 Aug

Damn, you make it look so simple.

It's been a while since I've wanted to ask out the girl from the pharmacy in my neighborhood, but I lacked the courage and feared receiving a 'No' for an answer.

I think you just gave me the courage I needed to go and ask her out.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 24 Aug

Honestly? It's the part where you realize that it's "just" a question, and "just" an answer to said question- and, of course, that the world doesn't end if it's not a match.

Either way both of you'll most likely profit off of the situation: It's either a Date, or her mood will be lifted, and your courage will grow! (If you take it like a grown-up) 😁

I don't want to act like a pro but I think that after today, I'll quickly add quite the number of "asks" in the coming weeks, especially on the weekends if I go out. 🤭🙂

Join the Suave-Gang! SUAVE-GANG!

500 sats \ 3 replies \ @ek 24 Aug

Congratulations! You motivated me to also share a story regarding these lines:

She replied with an adorable little smile, saying that it was a cute gesture, but that she already had a relationship going, thus, she kindly declined- And guess what? I was surprisingly cool with it!

This reminded me of my last day giving lessons to kids still in school while I was studying. I was paid by Schülerhilfe, an organization to help kids struggling in school, and used their rooms. This meant that during my time there, I often met fellow teachers in my age who also studied at the same university as me.

There was a girl that I really liked. I don't remember that we had many conversations before but we must had some, since I knew I wanted to get to know her better.

After some encouragement from a female friend, I asked on my last day if I could have her number¹ so we can stay in contact. I was so happy when it looked like I just made her day and she gave me her number; happy to stay in contact. It took me by surprise because I prepared for her saying "sorry, I have a boyfriend" or something like this. I considered saying "does that mean you can't have male friends?" in that case but as mentioned, we didn't get to this point because she already gave me her number.

We basically immediately started texting and it went really well. We already had conversations that were only missing agreeing on a specific date for the things we mentioned we could do (like smoke weed together, lol). This went on for days and I was still in disbelief what was happening. My female friend told me that if she gave me her number, she was definitely single and interested.

After a few days, I was spontaneously walking past the building where she was currently teaching and I must have remembered her schedule since I knew that she was about to end her lessons and come out. I think that was also her last day there. I decided to wait for her to come out so we could walk and talk for a bit. Usually, I am a very shy person and I am afraid of being surprised by someone I know in the streets but since the conversations over text with her went really smooth including the few conversations we had in person, I was actually indeed looking forward to see her (and I assumed she wasn't anxious like me about people surprises).

After some time, some other teacher I've met before came out. I asked him if Alice (not her real name) was in there and he said yes. We've talked for a bit and during the conversation, he mentioned that her boyfriend was in there with her.agreed

Me: Wait, she has a boyfriend? He: Uhm yes. Are you surprised? Me: Mhhh, she shared her number with me and we've been texting quite well for days so I thought: "Mhhh ..." He: Oh. Me: Well, anyway, I think it's better if I leave and don't wait for her. Thanks for letting me know and have a nice day!

I immediately wrote my female friend that she was wrong and I was right: She is not single!

However, what I did next was a mistake: I wrote Alice that I didn't know she was in a relationship. She confirmed and asked if that's a problem. Instead of remembering my own words "does that mean you can't have male friends?" I told her that I thought she was single and our ideas for what we could do together were date ideas. She replied with "Oh, I see."

After that our conversations were awkward and I told her it's fine if she doesn't want to text me anymore, lol. But I think I was the only one who made it awkward; she would have been fine with still meeting me casually. I could have just become good friends with her. She was so cool and I threw it all away just because I got disappointed. I still think about her sometimes.

That's a whole discussion in itself. I remember that I wasn't sure if I should ask her for her number or simply give her my number. Why ask someone for their number if you can prepare your number on a note and give it to them? You could even sneak it into their bag. This way, they can just text you if they want and aren't pressured into giving you their number (or giving you a fake number). I thought this would be very thoughtful from me. Maybe I'll create a post about this. I unfortunately don't remember which way I did it in this conversation. ↩

38 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 25 Aug

We've talked for a bit and during the conversation, he mentioned that her boyfriend was in there with her.

Oh boy... That's got to be a hell of a punch in the gut, I know that feeling.

Nevertheless, you had the courage and went for it, and although you didn't come out on top (or below her, hehe, I simply had to 🤭), you at least don't have the constant pain of living with the "what if", which can be way, way worse then the above- or a simple "no".

GG EKkie!

33 sats \ 1 reply \ @k00b 24 Aug

Sounds like you may have dodged a bullet if she was interested. The worst breakups I've witnessed are friends who were the mister/mistress, then become the boyfriend/girlfriend and get cheated on like it's karma.

100 sats \ 0 replies \ @ek 24 Aug

Mhh, I think she was just a very friendly, innocent person and was surprised that I was interested in more than just being friends. So I don't think she was looking to cheat.

But I would have definitely been open to date her after she broke up if her current relationship wasn't going well. The funny part was that her boyfriend was a cop and I was intrigued by what he thinks about possessing weed which was illegal at the time.

100 sats \ 1 reply \ @Undisciplined 24 Aug

Well done, Fabs!

182 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 24 Aug

I'm even considering going out next weekend, there's no place to ask girls out like a bar or club, after all, it's just that I'm totally not the kinda guy to go clubbing, but alas: another bullet to bite.

100 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby 24 Aug

Atta boy. Keep at it.

250 sats \ 1 reply \ @k00b 24 Aug

A few few weeks ago a video popped up in my X feed where this guy challenges himself to have a pleasant exchange with most people he ran into on the street. This reminds me of that. Well done.

This isn't the video, but I found it while looking for the one I was reminded of.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 24 Aug

You really started something with the "Suave-Fabs-thing", GG and thanks, K00ble-Double-W00ble!

Join the Suave-Gang! SUAVE-GANG!

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