Road-To-Suave Fabs / Part 3. \ stacker news ~ideasfromtheedge

2014 sats \ 27 comments \ @Fabs 3 Sep ideasfromtheedge

Guess who's back from the dead? Me.

I've had a rough last week, with the weekend being my absolute low-point in multiple ways, but I've managed to crawl back up on my feet, and am going surprisingly strong again already.

Alright, I've managed to cross paths with the "third" girl on my little list - which is an absolute banger in terms of looks - and asked her out; The answer was as expected: "I have a boyfriend".

"Okay" I said, and went back to my workout, but the way she said it was quite, well, uncomfortable: She had a totally blank / emotionless face, and answered like an absolute robot, it was so... Soulless.

I don't know, that was a weird one.

Anyways, after that, I kinda started gliding into a negative though-spiral, maybe I was getting impatient (I'd describe me as such), and maybe I was getting a little frustrated with something, I'm still unsure what set it off, but it didn't do me good.

The weird thing, however, is that I've never had such big personal changes in such a short span! I even managed to complete my little "list" in a record-time!

Honestly, if you'd have told me a month ago that I'd have asked out 4 very pretty girls (it's three now but stay tuned) within the span of two weeks, id have laughed you out HARD- add to that that I'm in the best physical shape I've ever been!

Nevertheless, I started gliding back into old habits and patterns, but managed to climb out the hole again at the right time.

Yesterday, though, was an interesting one: I went back to the gym again, but at a later-than-usual time. People came and went, and I was doing my thing, but then this girl came in and I instantly thought: "yep, I'm gonna ask her, too".

I was eyeing her for a while, as it was very crowded and loud (that's why I usually never go that late) and kinda managed to "catch" her in the changing room as we were both done working out.

To my enormous surprise, I was way less nervous, and even a bit more playful!

I went up to her, asked her if she had a boyfriend to which she said "no", which I followed-up by asking her if she'd be interested in meeting each other sometime. She ended up going back-and forth, "yes, no, hm maybe, hm hmm" while looking awkwardly into the mirror, to the left and the right, and ended with "Hm, I don't know if I'm up for a relationship right now, sorry" to which I replied "Okay", grabbed my bag, and left. 🥲

It's the fourth "No" in a row, but the main important thing is that she's a) single, b) not entirely uninterested (I think) and c) still unsure, so there's still a chance to win her over for a date, which I plan on trying by engaging her again in a playful way, but if that delivers a second "No", then I'll leave it at that. 😁

Anyways, I felt very positive about me and the way it went, and I even found a €5,00 bill on the walkway on my way home, leaving me with the conviction that just maybe it's a little sign of the universe that things are going to take a turn for the better again!

I'm curious as to what the results of my little "campaign" on her will be, I'll keep ya updated!

Soon-To-Be-Suave Fabs, out.

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285 sats \ 1 reply \ @Undisciplined 3 Sep

Great approach. Show her that you're fun (and not threatening). I might recommend aiming for a few interactions that don't end in asking her, but it's on you to read the room and take your shots where you see them.

I don't think you should take that awkward third rejection too hard. Many young women feel uncomfortable being asked out and if she's very pretty she might find it a bit tedious.

41 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 3 Sep

Yeah, I think that she's one of the more "playful" types as well, I'll have another late session tomorrow, let's see if she turns up. 😁

I don't think you should take that awkward third rejection too hard. Many young women feel uncomfortable being asked out and if she's very pretty she might find it a bit tedious.

Yeah, that's what I concluded as well, she probably gets asked on a daily basis- at least online... Nonetheless, she's always looking a bit "numb" when I see her in the gym, but alas, I've got it over with. 😸

275 sats \ 5 replies \ @siggy47 3 Sep

I'd say you handled yourself well with #4. Regarding #3, am I accurate in saying that you only ask girls out in your gym? Maybe the word is spreading that you're hitting on everyone? Just a pessimistic shot in the dark. That's what I bring to the table 😀 Also, you really don't know anything about these women beyond the fact that they're physically attractive to you. They are aware of this as much as you are. Maybe you're better off seeking natural conversations, getting to know a few women over time, and then progressing with one with whom you have something in common on a few levels?

53 sats \ 1 reply \ @Undisciplined 3 Sep

Maybe you're better off seeking natural conversations, getting to know a few women over time, and then progressing with one with whom you have something in common on a few levels

My wife had the same thought. She also agreed with me that answering "no" to "Do you have a boyfriend?" is a signal of interest, since the girl could easily just lie about that.

48 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 3 Sep

She also agreed with me that answering "no" to "Do you have a boyfriend?" is a signal of interest, since the girl could easily just lie about that.

Hah! 😉

53 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 3 Sep

am I accurate in saying that you only ask girls out in your gym?

Absolutely.

Maybe the word is spreading that you're hitting on everyone? Just a pessimistic shot in the dark. That's what I bring to the table 😀

Absolutely not. It's a - to me - very anti-social club, as in: Almost everyone's in their own little bubble, continuously staring at their little screens while "working out".

Afaik, all the girls (3) which I've asked out in the gym until now, work out on different times and don't know each other, and one of the girls is from staff.

And even if, it's a social space and nothing short of a compliment to the girl, I could care less if anyone thinks something of that, at least I have the balls to do it, and I'm not giving anyone hard feelings about a "No" either. 😄

Also, you really don't know anything about these women beyond the fact that they're physically attractive to you.

Exactly, that's what the whole "wanna get to know each other" part is all about, ain't it? I'm there to work out, not chit-chat- and neither are they, I hope. 😄

Maybe you're better off seeking natural conversations, getting to know a few women over time, and then progressing with one with whom you have something in common on a few levels?

Meh, see above. 😸

21 sats \ 1 reply \ @Nuttall 4 Sep

It's one thing if there is gossip that you are asking girls out, but another if you are only interested in a particular lady.

Keep up the pace and be a strong gentleman. @Fabs

10 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 4 Sep

I will 😸☺️

41 sats \ 2 replies \ @cryotosensei 3 Sep

Seems that when you apply a growth mindset to this, the Universe rewards you with some abundance. Keep it up 👍

34 sats \ 1 reply \ @Fabs OP 3 Sep

Oh! This has got to be one of the few times I see you in my comments!

Another sign, it seems... 😁

31 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei 3 Sep

I’m glad to add another dose of positivity 😉

100 sats \ 1 reply \ @konstantin21 3 Sep

great for sticking to it.

two points: working on yourself and being focused on your mission (if you dont have one your mission is figuring that out) will do more for your confidence and aura around woman than anything else.

when i was figuring out this part of my life i read all the forums/ebooks/etc. and the only 1 stuck out and worked for me: Models by Mark Manson. He later became a very popular self help author but his first book was a. "pick up" book.

https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty/dp/1463750358

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 3 Sep

Ohhh! I've once read a book of him called "Hope" or something like that, I like the way he writes, and it looks like that book's on-line with how I look at it as well, great suggestion!

21 sats \ 8 replies \ @tolot 3 Sep

Keep it up man.

With regards to the approach and asking out girls in general, my point of view is that you've to leave her time to understand you've something to offer. Something to offer could mean several things, that's up to you...usually that's status, cleverness, humour, physical appearance.

Generally if you close a girl in an angle (in a psychological way) and ask her out like that, with a cold move, you're likely to be rejected. There's no warming up, she's approached by a stranger she doesn't know and have nothing to do with, who's likely to be interested in her only sexually (generally). The defensive mechanism in female individuals of mammals like naked apes (aka humans) is to reject that cold approach.

I'm no PUA or any of that, but I think that girls' attention has to be triggered in order to make them interested and prone to accept your invitation. Girls are not all the same nail whereby you've simply to hammer the same way every one. Statistically that will work, but it's not efficient.

You learned that being rejected is not the end of the world (in fact, sometimes that creates an adrenaline rush XD) and that the distance between achieving something and not achieving it is narrow, it's the step you do in the correct direction (in this case, the girl). Generally, an understanding of the context is needed...if you approach in gyms, you have to assume that the girl sees any gym bro approaching her straightforwardly as a shark trying to get in her slips.

That's something you want to avoid. But that's my two sats, no expert here.

0 sats \ 7 replies \ @Fabs OP 3 Sep

Hm, I'm partly with you, but as we know, I'm still a bloody beginner and thus, mistakes have to be made- and felt! 😄🥲

Generally if you close a girl in an angle (in a psychological way) and ask her out like that, with a cold move, you're likely to be rejected. There's no warming up, she's approached by a stranger she doesn't know and have nothing to do with, who's likely to be interested in her only sexually (generally). The defensive mechanism in female individuals of mammals like naked apes (aka humans) is to reject that cold approach.

I'm no PUA or any of that, but I think that girls' attention has to be triggered in order to make them interested and prone to accept your invitation. Girls are not all the same nail whereby you've simply to hammer the same way every one. Statistically that will work, but it's not efficient.

Yeah, I might have "closed" her in a bit too much, I try to avoid pressuring a girl into something, which is why I simply leave after a "No" has been said, only to return another day, with another smile. 😄

My body language may still be a bit rough though, it's simply the way I walk and stand, gotta smooth that out in those situations.

but I think that girls' attention has to be triggered in order to make them interested and prone to accept your invitation.

Attention? Girls are absolutely flooded with - male - attention 24/7, the only way I see to actually make a dent, is to take things into the real world... 😅

Also "warming" up is quite a feat when trying to work out...

0 sats \ 3 replies \ @tolot 3 Sep

Hm, I'm partly with you, but as we know, I'm still a bloody beginner and thus, mistakes have to be made- and felt!

There's no teaching willingness in my comment, I'm just walking by on the same path IRL, thus I can understand you.

Attention? Girls are absolutely flooded with - male - attention 24/7, the only way I see to actually make a dent, is to take things into the real world... 😅 Also "warming" up is quite a feat when trying to work out...

You're right, that's why I think gym is not the best spot to get those hunting session going...

0 sats \ 2 replies \ @Fabs OP 3 Sep

Hm, well, I'm no "social" animal, and going to the club is something I absolutely do not want to do, it's many things I don't enjoy at once, and people's "goals" there won't be all that geared towards building a solid relationship as well...

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @tolot 3 Sep

Isn't an entire planet out there? Clubs are mostly slimy places, I don't like those either. Being in public places doesn't force you to increase your openness, it simply puts you in potential contact with more people. Statistically, that's how we find people we like, being that leading to a love affair or friendship. Language courses? Reading clubs? Social gatherings? There's a crowd of possible environments you can expose yourself to, ranging from very intellectual to slimy. Analyse the range and understand what's your limit.

it's many things I don't enjoy at once

I can understand that, Rome wasn't build in a day as they say. give yourself time and compare your results with your past results.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 3 Sep

Yeah, I'll stick to the gym for now, but I'll work on increasing my range- I'll have to. 😅😄

0 sats \ 2 replies \ @Fabs OP 3 Sep

And I'm by no means a "gym bro", but we do have those clowns around as well.

21 sats \ 1 reply \ @tolot 3 Sep

I didn't mean to call you a gym bro, i can understand you're not. Still, gyms are full of those thus the heuristics of a girl are tuned on that assumption.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 3 Sep

Oh yeah, absolutely.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Nuttall 4 Sep

Nice progress!

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @zapsammy 3 Sep

you could try something, to boost your confidence:

when you enter the gym, pretend like it's your place. not in the way of "i am the master here, obey me," but in the way that this is your playground, your favorite place in the world, you keep it clean, and make sure everyone is having a good time. you could even rerack weights left out (it's still exercise!)

when i'm in my neighborhood playground & park where i work out, i routinely pickup trash because i'll be back the next day, and it feels good. sometimes i even get a thank you from other park visitors.

it's not about you and the girls notice everything.

37 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 3 Sep

Well, that's how I've been rolling for a long time. I'm working out twice a day currently, and have been there for a while in general- I'm a common face around there and I like to make my "presence" known if you know what I mean. 😄

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Satoshi__Nakamoto 3 Sep

Journey it'nt bad

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 3 Sep

Hm, you've been following along?