Chapter Six How to Kill Our Cows

Let's start by understanding that cows do not exist in reality, and that they are only in our thoughts. In other words, cows are not realities or physical limitations but ideas that you harbor in your mind.

I often refer to an example that gives vivid evidence of this. For many years the record for the mile race did not go below four minutes. In 1903, the director of the Olympic games had prophesied: “the mile record is 4 minutes 12.75 seconds, a record that may never be surpassed.” On the other hand, athletes heard from doctors and scientists that it was physically impossible for a human being to try to run a mile in less than four minutes. So for almost sixty years the best athletes came very close to this mark, but never managed to surpass it. Why? Because it was impossible, the doctors had said it was impossible, the scientists had concluded that the body would not withstand such an effort and that the heart could literally explode.

Everything changed the day that young British runner Roger Bannister ran the mile in under four minutes and survived. The myth had been busted (a cow had just died). When this news spread around the world, something surprising happened: less than four months after Bannister accomplished this amazing feat, six more people had already run the mile in under four minutes. What's more, in the same race, three runners came in with times under four minutes. And this didn't happen because humans had suddenly become faster, but because they understood that it wasn't a physical impossibility but a mental barrier. All these athletes did was remove from their minds the limiting beliefs (cows) that had stopped them from using their true potential for more than five decades.

You can do the same. All you need to do is identify the false beliefs that have been limiting your life up until now and replace them with ideas that empower you, that allow you to use the power that already resides within you and that is just waiting to be used to help you achieve your most ambitious goals.

Cows are not other people either. If you believe that your cow is your husband, or your father, or another person, you are wrong. Your cow is not that person, your cow is an idea or a mistaken concept that involves that person.

I say this because at a conference, a woman approached me and said: “Dr. Cruz:

My cow is my husband!” I asked her why she said that. She replied: “I have not been able to do anything with my life, because my husband does not support me.”

I answered: Your cow is not your husband, your cow is believing that without the support of your husband you will not be able to do anything with your life, which is absurd.

Do you see? This idea is a justifying cow that not only provides you with an excellent excuse for doing nothing, but it puts you in the role of a victim, as mentioned above. I say it is a cow because if what you decide to do with your life depends on whether or not you have the support of other people, then you will achieve very little. Your success cannot depend on other people deciding to support you, approving the decisions you have made, or being enthusiastic about the path you have chosen to follow. The only person who can and should be enthusiastic about your goals and decisions is you.

So it is important to understand that cows only exist in thought. So when I talk about killing the cow, I am referring to eliminating an excuse, changing a habit, modifying a thought pattern, or establishing a new behavior in our life. In other words, changing our way of thinking and acting, not trying to change the way other people think and act.

In fact, one of the worst cows you can have is believing that unless others change, you will not be able to succeed. Remember, the only person you can change is yourself.

How can we get rid of our cows? It's simple, all we need to do is wake up to the reality that perhaps the programs and beliefs that have guided our actions and expectations up until now have not been the right ones. We must be aware that we may have been programmed to accept mediocrity. We must make the decision not to continue living a life of denial, pretending that everything is fine, and identify those cows that are stopping us on our path to success.

The next step is to understand that despite having been programmed for mediocrity, we have been created for greatness; and even though we are common and ordinary people we can achieve extraordinary things. We only need to open our minds to the possibility of changing and growing. It is about understanding that our future does not have to be the same as our past and that it is possible to change and thus build a new future free of cows!

Here are five steps you can take to kill your cows:

This first step is one of the most difficult, since no one likes to admit that they have cows. Have you noticed how other people's cows are absurd excuses that shamefully seek to justify the unjustifiable, while your own cows are true circumstances that illustrate the injustice of a situation in which we are the victims?

I said earlier that cows only exist in our thoughts. However, they often manifest themselves in our behaviors and habits. So this first step requires you to take a piece of paper and during the next week have your antennas up to detect the appearance of any cow in your daily life. Remember that cows will always come disguised as excuses, justifications, pretexts, lies, excuses, evasions, loopholes, false beliefs, limitations and fears.

You can use the list in chapter three to learn to identify your cows. Take a week or more, because many of us have cows but we are not aware of them and if you try to sit down and identify them all at once, many of them will escape you. Although it is sometimes difficult to describe your cows, you will always recognize them when you see them.

For example, when I ask anyone if they suffer from “excuseitis,” they usually say no. However, if I ask them to take a day and consciously count the times they gave an excuse for something, they come back surprised by the number of excuses they give all day and all the time. So take enough time on this first step.

Where did you learn them? Also, think about whether these reasons are real or not, whether they make sense or are irrational.

As I mentioned, many of our cows were acquired during our formative years of school, during childhood and adolescence and we have been carrying them around for so long that we have ended up accepting them as unquestionable truths. However, whether we have acquired them voluntarily or have allowed someone else to gift them to us, every cow hides an idea that we believe to be true.

For example, the person who responds to every new initiative or proposal “I don’t have time” may actually be hiding an even bigger problem. This excuse may simply be an easy way to hide their fear of failure or their insecurity about their own abilities to carry out said initiative. In such a case, the real cow is not the lack of time but the fear of failure or their own insecurities.

So look for the true roots of your cows. And if you find that a certain excuse, justification or generalization that you frequently use does not represent a real belief in your life, immediately eliminate it from your vocabulary. It is incredible, but with this second step you can get rid of half of the cows that can be found in your mind today.

Write down all the missed opportunities; identify the failures that have been the direct result of keeping these cows; detail all the irrational fears you experience on a daily basis as a result of that cow you have carried around for decades.

If you don't take this step, you may not feel the compelling need to get rid of your cows. Remember that, as I have mentioned in other books, perhaps the two most motivating forces in our lives are the desire to succeed and the fear of failure. Our lives are guided, in part, by what we want most, and in part, by what we fear most. And we will always seek to do those things that bring us pleasure and avoid doing those things that bring us pain.

In fact, our mind will do more to avoid pain than to experience pleasure. So, unless you feel the pain of these lost opportunities and this: State of mediocrity, you will not feel the need to abandon your complacency and kill your cow, or your cows.

Once you make the list of all the evil caused by the presence of these cows, I want you to read it over and over again; I want you to feel the pain of knowing that the choice for this life of mediocrity has been yours alone. Internalize this pain, feel it in the pit of your stomach and understand that you can disguise it and even ignore it for a while, but as long as you do not kill your cows they will always be there. Imagine carrying this pain for the rest of your life.

Does that make sense? Are you willing to pay this price? If you want to get rid of this pain, simply make the decision to get rid of your cows.

What new skills will you be able to develop? What new adventures will you allow yourself to live? What new dreams will you dare to dream and pursue as a result of no longer having all those cows that kept you tied to a life of mediocrity?

Write all this down because you are going to need it. Killing your cows is not as easy as it seems. Getting rid of a cow takes discipline, dedication, and consistency. Sometimes you will feel frustrated because you will fall back into the same old habits and have to get up and start over. This list that I am asking you to make in this fourth step will serve as inspiration when you feel yourself getting weak. Read it whenever you want to see what the reward is for getting rid of these cows, so carry it with you at all times.

In front of each of your cows, write down the specific actions you plan to take to get rid of them and also write down how you will respond in case this cow is born again. For example, if your cow has been the excuse: “I am not good at this BECAUSE I am TOO old,” from now on, every time you catch yourself thinking or saying this I want you to: Interrupt that thought immediately, and I want you to say something like: “I know I CAN be VERY good at this. I will use my experience and my years to master this in no time.” If you do this with all your cows you will find that in a short time you will have eliminated most of them, or in the best case, all of them.