50 sats \ 2 replies \ @kepford 6h \ on: How to begin restoring normalcy with friends/relatives? culture
Its tempting to want to gloat. Don't if care about these people and want a relationship.
Don't. This is the problem. What is there to discuss? Do they want to understand where you are coming from? Do you not understand them?
100%. Only if they view you as a safe person to talk to about things.
Don't. I have tried this in the past. The only way people learn is through pain or if they are wanting to learn. You need to pick one goal and stick to that.
You said returning to normalcy. Not sure what that means but I assume they weren't aligned with your world view before 2016 and they aren't now. In the past most people just didn't really get into politics to the level they do now.
My advice is if you want a relationship treat them with kindness, love, and understanding. Don't expect it to be reciprocated at first. You do sound like gloating might be a struggle so I would avoid politics altogether with them. Honestly, it is stupid how central party politics has become. It is stupid that people have let it divide families. I have many friends and colleagues that do not see the world the way I do.
Arguing with them and trying to win debates is how a douche bag behaves but for some reason this has become acceptable behavior. I would highly recommend reading "The Righteous Mind". It helped me understand how people think about morals and how much of it is built into how their brains work.
Party politics weaponize these differences in our brains. You need to pick one of two options.
- Gloat and mock
- Be a friend
Its a sad world where people determine someone's worth by their stupid vote for a clown that wants to be a ruler. We have more in common with our neighbor that we disagree with than anyone running for office.
Do they want to understand where you are coming from? Do you not understand them?
yeah... this is a great point.
You need to pick one goal and stick to that.
Likewise, another good one. Thanks for your thoughtful input.
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Honestly I really believe it is far more important for us as individuals to learn to build relationships and strengthen our families and communities. It is tempting to write people off but if you understand Marxism that is a goal. Break those bonds.
Do we really think our ancestors all thought the same way? They didn't. There were brains that thought like your progressive friends and your conservative friends. My guess is that you are more aligned with libertarian thinking.
One key to get is that people have been programmed and abused mentally pretty much from birth. This goes for both sides but the progressives are clearly getting more of this from the education and entertainment systems.
That helps me show more grace than I really want to show. On top of that, as a follower of Jesus I am directed to love my enemies. I don't consider voters to be my enemies. More like misguided people that have been abused. I've spent many years trying to understand both the right and the left. I think I have a pretty decent understanding of where they are coming from. I have a lot of experience debating people on both sides. Its not productive in 99.9% of cases. At best you might convince someone that isn't involved.
One thing we should learn from the last decade is that people can evolve. Look at how many have moved away from the democrats and the left. If people would focus on being fair and truthful I think we could have even more success.
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