Almost a month ago I recommended that the kids get Jordan Peterson's book "12 Rules for Life". #765129
In the last 7 days I have had two fabulous encounters with my students.
First,
the 10th graders were complaining about not getting respect from the younger students. The boys in particular were complaining.
I told them it was their own fault. They behave like weaklings. They don't stand up with their shoulders straight and they don't cooperate with their friends to build a force that the smaller kids don't want to mess with.
If they want to be respected and recognized as the big boys, they should do the work to be the big boys.
You must take responsibility and work for what you want and desire. No one will give it to you.
They thought about it and this week they are already walking around the school with their shoulders back, helping each other and trying to get what they want, the higher status of being the big boys.
Second,
today a boy came to me at recess and asked for 5 minutes of my time.
He told me that he had bought the book and was trying to understand it. But he has questions.
He is the typical rebel in the class. He does not care about rules and norms, but he is intelligent and bored in school. Most teachers cannot work with his behavior. He is rude, his language is very vulgar. He never knows when to stop and what is not appropriate.
Last week in class we were throwing verbal punches at each other and he said at the end that he feels safe having these arguments with me because I take him seriously. He asked me if I thought he was a good kid because he is smart. I told him he was an asshole. But a smart one.
Today, as I said, he approached me. He asked me why I thought he was an asshole. I told him that he never knows when to stop and where to draw the line. He never had parents who allowed him to cross certain lines.
He replied that he was a great kid until 7th grade. He was a nice kid, but then something changed.
I repeated what I said before, he was never shown a clear line that he was not allowed to cross. Not from his parents, not from his teachers.
I show him the line not to cross, so he respects me and asks me for advice.
Since he is reading the book and taking weeks for self-reflection, he asked what he can do to change his behavior.
I told him it was almost impossible for him.
He should ask his friends to show him when he crosses a line. They should give him a signal to stop. He has to earn their trust. They can help him.
Punshline begins, there are children willing to learn. There are more than you think and not often the children you think of.
It is terrible to call all children stupid or lazy. Most just do not know what they want and need guidance.
These kids are better critical thinkers than many adults I know, if you let them.
Unfortunately, far more than most of the teachers at our school.