While I was reading your post I couldn't help but think that this dilemma applies more when giving gifts to people with whom there is no strong bond or trust, for example an exchange gift for a coworker at the office. With respect to family, in my opinion it is different, I am happy with whatever they give me because I know that they do it with love. My daughter is learning to manage money, those basic things of spending, doing the math, saving and earning money, she has some money saved so this year she said she wanted to buy gifts for my husband and me, but in her eagerness to just spend the money, she wanted to buy random things, I told her that money cannot be spent on unnecessary things, it must be given a more important use, I gave her several gift options that she could give to my husband (they are things that he really wants) and she chose and made a purchase, now she also asked me for a list of things that I would like, it seemed a bit funny, but I told her, I have no idea what she is going to buy me. That is the reason why she gave me a list of gift options, she is also in for a surprise because she doesn't know which of all those options will be her gift. That idea came to me because that's what we do with "Santa Clous" every year he writes a letter with a list of things he would like and Santa Clous will choose which of those gift options he will leave under the tree, lol I have also told her that Santa Clous sometimes doesn't bring you something you want, but something you need, something that maybe wasn't on the list, the first time I told her that she looked confused, I explained it with an example from my childhood, I had asked for a Barbie (I had many of them) so Santa Clous brought me board games to share with my family... She was amazed after I explained it to her.