Who's Shaq defending, though? Because it sure as shit ain't Joker.

I love this particular thought experiment. Years ago I read a pretty awesome argument that Rodman should be the first pick in a draft like this. It was based around a bunch of analytics that show him being so great at rebounding and defense that once you have Rodman on your team you don't have to worry about how good the rest of your players are at those things.