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Do you and your partner fight right?
719 sats \ 32 comments \ @cryotosensei 1 May AskSN
My wife gets irritated easily, so whenever she unloads her negative emotions on me, I will get similarly triggered. Sulking and pining for my carefree singlehood days and even entertaining thoughts of divorce.
But somehow, we will have a breakthrough in our discussion, which helps us to articulate our point of view. The Ice Wall between us will thaw, and then we will go about the day, feeling lighter.
Marriage is a pain in the ass, but with the right person possessing the right temperament for you, it’s bearable.
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163 sats \ 8 replies \ @Aardvark 1 May
Usually my wife and I do a pretty good job of getting past petty things, but April was a hell of a month. Right now more often than not, our discussions end with one of us being irritated.
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42 sats \ 5 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 20h
Is this regarding her job situation?
It’s May now! Hoping this month will be better
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48 sats \ 4 replies \ @Aardvark 19h
In April, the company that bought my company cut down my vacation from 22 days to 15 days per year, my friend committed suicide, my grandmother had a stroke and died, and my wife lost her job. We are both on edge, me especially. It will be hard for may to be worse.
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42 sats \ 3 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 19h
F
15 days per day is devastating
Do you have the chance to air things out with fellow drivers while you are working? An outlet for the anger and grief to percolate through your system
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24 sats \ 2 replies \ @Aardvark 19h
Naa, I just sit in my truck alone all day.
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42 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 19h
Okay I will engage you more often to remind you that you aren’t alone
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105 sats \ 1 reply \ @denlillaapan 1 May
Heavy outside stressors on your relationship, and it's not that surprising is it. I have faith that my fellow Stacker-animal will persevere<3
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14 sats \ 0 replies \ @Aardvark 1 May
Its not shocking at all lol. Things will definitely get better sooner or later.
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82 sats \ 1 reply \ @ChrisS 1 May
Woman are moody and more emotional than men. Its your job as her husband to not get caught up in her energy( triggered as you say). Husbands should be emotionally stable and have a calming effect when his wife gets irritated. Its not easy but with practice you can do it and you will be rewarded with a stronger marriage as you get better at it.
Often times woman like to vent. They don't want advice and they don't want you to try and fix things. Only you being there and listening is enough. The worst thing you can do is fall into her negative energy. Sit there quietly and listen. Every time you feel the urge to speak, let her continue. Or ask a leading question or say tell me more. Do this several times and let her get everything out then tell her its all gonna be ok.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 20h
This is excellent advice n I feel like you have grounded me and my expectations. I’m not so sure my wife would take to messaging like “it’s all gonna be okay”, but ya I need to bite my tongue more
I wish you were my husband haha.
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24 sats \ 2 replies \ @Coinsreporter 2 May
Oh man I want to fight but I can't. We only get 'us time' for love making. Now with our first child we don't really have anyhing sort of fighting but yeah I sometimes irritate her for that she's smart enough to avoid or complain to my mom. It's really difficult when you live in a combined family.
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20 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 19h
I’m amazed that you have the vibes for love making. I don’t think I can ever do it if my extended family were around
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Coinsreporter 18h
Thankfully the house we live in is a big one, around 5000sq. yard built in space in with a small arfen in front and fields on the sides.
But it's not me, it's the case with every person in India, having or not having a big house doesn't matter and that's one reason we have a big population. I've seen people living together with extended families in 2/3 BHKs and still contributed to the population in the same way. It's normal in india🤣
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24 sats \ 1 reply \ @grayruby 1 May
My philosophy is you have to learn to pick your battles and try not to fight over money. Easier said than done dependant on your financial situation.
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40 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 19h
Thankfully money is not one of our stress factors. I think we have similar tempo wrt spending it - spend when we must
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48 sats \ 1 reply \ @metadavid 1 May
It happens. Couples fight. Ones with kids may fight even more about priorities, responsibilities, etc.
I know it sounds cliche, but communication is key. Being transparent with one another while also being careful to stick to topics and not making it personal.
I feel like it's always a WIP.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 19h
That’s nice what you said about WIP. Reminds me that I’m only human.
Progress, not perfection.
Hopefully I will grow to be emotionally immune to what mt wife says when she gets irritated
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24 sats \ 2 replies \ @Bitcoiner1 1 May
All couple fights. There is not a such thing as the perfect person...we all have defects and we do not behave the same way all the time.
I've been married for the last 20 years, no complains at all, but of course, every now and then, there are periods of time we have less patience with each other or we're more susceptible to silly stuff.
We, normally talk about what makes us feel sad or angry but time also is a good doctor...
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 19h
Are there taboo topics you will avoid with your wife to preempt fights?
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Bitcoiner1 14h
We both have different backgrounds, she was rise on the country side in a small village, I'm from the capital of another country.
At the beginning of the relationship, politics was a hot topic for us, most of the time, we ended up mad because we couldn't agree on it. Now, we can talk about politics but is not a topic I enjoy much, so I try to avoid it.
What about you? What topics trigger a fight in your house?
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24 sats \ 1 reply \ @Lazy_AMA 1 May
Fights go 2 way, sometimes wrong, sometimes right. It all depends.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 19h
As I age, I realise how important sleep is. When I am well rested, I’m more inclined not to sweat the small stuff
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24 sats \ 1 reply \ @Satosora 1 May
Fighting is alright, as long as there is compromise or resolution afterwards. All relationships take work.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 19h
Does your wife speak in rapid fire Chinese when the argument gets heated up?
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24 sats \ 2 replies \ @Fabs 1 May
Sounds like it sucks most of the time, what a waste.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 19h
Sometimes I rue the day I fell in love with her lol
How’s your Charming project coming along?
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs 18h
Not. Every girl has a boyfriend it seems or simply isn't interested in anything more serious.
That said, I'm trying in-person only, I don't do Insta and that shit.
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24 sats \ 1 reply \ @suraz 1 May
Here we say "A husband and wife's fight is like a fire in dry straw."
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 19h
In Nepali?
I love it!
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24 sats \ 1 reply \ @south_korea_ln 1 May
it’s bearable
:)
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 19h
You get me
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