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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @k00b 10h \ on: Is this person a good fit for me or too many challenges? relationships
You cite four potential issues:
- privacy is important to you but not her
- she's outgoing and you aren't
- she wants kids and you don't
- she resides in a different state
I assume you all are meeting up because you connect on other things, but because you focused on the negative, it's hard to tell if there are pros that may outweigh the cons.
If I were you, my biggest concerns would be (3) and (4). If she wants kids and you don't, committing to each other means one of you is also committing to sacrificing something significant. (4) also reduces the chances of a relationship working as the relationship is inherently inconvenient; afaict this is only ever overcome by incredible alignment/attraction in other dimensions.
IME you won't really know how compatible you are until you meet in person. Back when I was dating, I learned pretty quickly that whatever digital relationship I had with a person was not predictive of how well we'd get along in person. I started meeting in person as soon as possible as a result.
Thanks for the feedback and yes, I'll definitely prioritize meeting in person asap.
I think on the kids front, it is something that she did want, but that she now says she is OK with not having due to age. I don't think that necessarily changes the inherent desire but at the same time I imagine it may be OK as I'm not necessarily what is causing her to sacrafice.
In terms of number 4, I am open to relocating. My work is extremely flexible, she has a traditional office job in person. But spending time together prior to moving in together is still challenging as it would be flights back and forth to see each other, so your point is well taken.
Thanks!
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