Why I'm Learning Latin

For the past 15 months, I've been learning Latin. I’m reading, I’m memorizing, and I’m writing down noun declensions like a madman.

I'm 45 years old, way past the age when people normally learn new languages. I’m also not one of those polyglots that learns a new language every couple of years. Nor am I a masochist who enjoys reading slowly, so why am I doing it?

There are three reasons I am learning Latin.

The first reason is that I have a bit of intellectual snobbery that I’m trying to reclaim. Back in high school, I desperately wanted to learn Latin because it was the language of science. Being the math geek that I am, I wanted to learn something that would help me understand fancy Latin phrases like a priori and Carthago delenda est. Sure, I wouldn’t be any more popular, but at least I could pretend to have some superiority over the actual popular kids.

Sadly, my high school didn't offer Latin, and my dreams of being that annoying geek wielding Latin would have to be set aside. Instead, I had to settle for being that annoying geek wielding a chess board, a keyboard, and Magic the Gathering cards. Lacking the option of learning Latin, I spent 4 years learning Spanish and settled for learning pop culture phrases like gordito and la vida loca.

Frankly, I don’t remember much of it because the motivation to learn Spanish just wasn't there. I was a geek that dreamed of getting into MIT! I wanted to be a math professor or a computer programmer. Spanish just didn’t feel like something I needed as it didn’t give me any advantage in what I wanted to do. Latin, on the other hand, was something I could use! Everyone knows that the winner of any philosophical argument is the one using the cooler Latin phrase.

The second reason is because Latin is the language of the Romans. These were some badass people who came, saw and conquered (veni, vedi, vici). They were also Stoics, whose motto was memento mori, or remember that you will die. They had courage, enjoyed life and kicked ass. Who wouldn’t want to be like them? Yet learning to be like them is not so easy, especially since so many of their works are ancient and their mentality is so foreign to the modern mind. Learning Latin is a way into that mentality. To understand why, indulge me in a brief digression.

I'm a Korean-American immigrant and that means I know two languages… sort of. I immigrated when I was 8 years old, so my Korean is still that of a second grader. I’m pretty embarrassed to speak it, but I have some familiarity with a language quite different than English.

The weird thing is, I think very differently when I think in Korean. It’s especially true when I interact with older Korean people. I suddenly defer to elders, take care of anyone younger and politely but firmly fight for the restaurant check. None of this is normal when I’m thinking in English. Language shapes mentality.

Latin has been the language of intellectual culture for the better part of the last 2000 years. Some of the greatest thinkers thought in Latin. Translated works are notorious for their awkward phrasing. Historical works are also pretty hard to read because they’re written with unfamiliar words. Trying to understand a historical translated work is like trying to understand that guy on Zoom who’s driving through a tunnel. How am I supposed to be a badass Stoic if their words come through garbled?

The third reason that I want to learn Latin is because I’m tired of pop culture. Yea, yea, it’s such a hipster thing to say, but hear me out. Pop culture is getting really preachy. Every time I watch a movie or listen to a song, I feel like a racist, homophobic, misogynist pig.

Pop culture has a lot of assumptions baked into it about what the right thing to think is, and to be quite frank, I don’t agree with all of it. I want art that’s more aligned with my values. I’m a Christian, so you may think that I listen to contemporary Christian music or watch Christian movies. I don’t, because they (mostly) suck. Okay, that’s harsh and not very charitable of me, but I just don’t enjoy them the way someone into electronic dance music enjoys a rave. Trying to find art to consume in today’s culture is mulgere hircum or milking a male goat.

Latin gives me access to classics that have withstood the test of time. Most pop stuff will not be popular in 5 years, let alone 50. With Latin, I can access books, music, and art that are hundreds of years old. There’s timeless wisdom in something that’s managed to last that long. Latin is a gateway to another culture, one whose values more closely align with mine and I can bathe in its ancient riches like Scrooge McDuck.

At least that’s the hope. And that makes memorizing noun declensions worthwhile.