I'm looking for a combination of things that are (obviously) in conflict and that's exactly why this is not that easy to answer.

Device

I'm looking for a device that's:
  • Smallest possible
  • Powerful enough to stream 4K videos, run some home media server, etc
  • Extensible with SSD, ideally acting as NAS
  • Portable, easy to plug in anywhere and go (I travel quite a bit, I would like to come to a place, plug it in and be ready)
  • Easy to connect to from a phone or laptop (over LAN or Internet)

Capabilities

The things that I would like to run on this device:
  • Home Media Server (like Jellyfin) for movies, books, shows, music, retro games etc
  • Easy way to plug with TV, make it feel like Netflix for my media
  • NAS for my files
  • VPN server (or similar - Wireguard, Tailscale....)
  • Privacy apps, like pi-hole, valutwarden
  • Server for fun, host my local applications I build (maybe via Docker?)
  • Bitcoin node and lightning node, especially for tracking of my utxos (I think I'd prefer separating bitcoin stuff under a different device, but just listing here for completeness)

Examples

There are couple devices that caught my eye, like:

What device would you recommend? What OS and setup?
A few options:
  • macOS: The Mac Mini M1 from 2020 is incredibly powerful and small, plus you never hear the fans even at 100% usage. Apple Silicon is a game changer. It's UNIX in the end so you can compile anything for it. You don't need an Apple account to use it.
  • Windows: If you like Windows, then there's a cool little new ARM device called Project Volterra, it's basically a MS version of the Mac Mini. Haven't used it but seems nice.
  • Linux: Intel NUCs are fantastic for running these kinds of things, ideally with Linux. In particular the Phantom Canyon is a great deal as it has a relatively powerful discrete NVidia card, it's silent, and looks great:
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Intel NUC skull canyon
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Just buy a Qnap or Synology NAS. You have all you need. Don't complicate it more than is necessary. Thank me later.
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I need something more portable - easy to pack for a flight...
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Yes, that one is almost good, but 1.5kg is bigger than what I'd like to put in a 23kg total luggage that needs to contain all my stuff. I agree that NASes are generally the same thing as what I'm asking for, but my main issue is the form factor. Do you know about any specifically small factor NAS?
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Then go for Pantera Pico, the smallest PC ever. https://picopc.net/ And install FreeNAS OS on it with all your need. But is not the same powerful as a NAS. NAS is not designed to travel with. Is more to be left at home and access it wherever you travel.
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Nice! That one looks decent, I'll check it in more detail.
Yes, I'll definitely put something linux based on it either way. Is there a specific reason for why you are recommending FreeNAS (vs for example just running Debian on it, or flashing Umbrel)?
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With FreeNAS you have a debian based OS with all features for a NAS and is more powerful and manageable than Umbrel.
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Why this instead of Synology? It's supposed to be popular but I don't have experience with either of them.
these minis forums ones look cool, they have usb4 socket on them too which means you can plug in external GPU for games/compute.
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Do you have a stable homebase where you could leave a system and VPN in? Buying a proper NAS for file storage and light-duty hosting then connecting remotely may give your more flexibility then carrying the system all the time.
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I don't have much stable homebase currently. I would like to have a solution that I can VPN in easily no matter where it's connected (as long as it's connected).
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