Great thanks for the links - I'll read them now. 

ClickForCharity

bitcoin

A Lightning Network Question (BTCPay)

>If I give someone an account on our BTCPay server and they attach their own wallet to it will the lightning payments they get also go through their own wallet or will it be using our node for the lightning payments?

Their wallet is just an LNDhub interface to use your node. All txs will be done by your node.

>And if it does will that still count as not having a middleman apart from the lightning network?

You are playing the role of "uncle Jim bank". You provide the liquidity and access to LN. In some way yes, you are an intermediary, but the good one.
As I explained in this guide [Private banks over LN](https://darthcoin.substack.com/p/bitcoin-private-banks-over-lightning)

You are doing it OK, no worry. We should have more "uncle Jim banks" for family and friends.
As a liquidity provider I would also suggest you to read this guide:
https://darthcoin.substack.com/p/managing-lightning-node-liquidity