Monero isn't a token, but I get what you're saying

Honestly though you can hold it much much longer than 5 minutes. Just depends. Sometimes you'll make a small gain or small loss but it ends up a wash usually. There are months where Monero will have more gains than Bitcoin. In fact, Monero made about +200% gain over Bitcoin the whole year of 2022. Check for yourself if you don't believe me.

It's only on a scale of years or longer where it really matters.

Monero completely hides amounts and addresses from the blockchain using encryption.

If you doubt me fact check me on that. Search "Confidential Transactions" and "Stealth Addresses". Coinjoins are weaker "privacy" via obfuscation AKA nothing is hidden all connections and possible amounts are visible and easier to unravel with offchain data or future mistakes. On top of being inferior privacy - CJing is also more expensive, slower, and tedious vs just hitting send with Monero.

And even if you don't use Tor with Monero your IP is hidden by default with Dandelion++

Just don't use Monero for savings if you think the price downtrend will continue and you'll avoid all the "inflation bug" fears Bitcoiners have of Monero and still gain all it's benefits. Use it like spending cash.

LN can be more private than Bitcoin but it isn't a serious privacy solution. Receiver privacy in particular sucks. Even unannounced "private" channels can be discovered. Don't believe me? Straight from a lightning dev: “We call private channels 'private' but they are really not, they are more like unannounced channels,” Giorgio said, adding that there are currently ways to exploit the Lightning Network that enable a node to discover an unannounced private channel." https://bitcoinmagazine.com/technical/state-of-bitcoin-lightning-network-privacy