How resilient are you? \ stacker news ~meta

4335 sats \ 30 comments \ @cryotosensei 21 Feb meta

It is that time of the year. My school is organising a GRIT (Growing Resilience In Teens) camp.

For my secondary one students, they had to work together to orienteer to various checkpoints yesterday. Since they misread the map a couple of times, everyone easily clocked more than 10k steps because we kept having to retrace our steps.

Today, we did dragonboating in the morning. For the uninitiated, it involves a group of people synchronising their movements to paddle a dragon-shaped boat. I acquired a nice tan under the hot sun. In the afternoon, we didn’t have to do orienteering, but the camp instructors led us through an urban hiking route that involved walking. Not as much as yesterday, but by the time we reached our destination, several students were so dog-tired that they raised their legs on the outdoor bench (presumably to facilitate the flow of blood to their brains).

Anyway, I saw their chaos unfold before me and decided to call for an impromptu Circle Time session so that I could say stuff that would give meaning to their “suffering”. I mentioned about an unforgettable incident when I was serving in the army. As an Armour Infantry soldier, I had to secure a godforsaken corner of the forest in the wee hours of the morning, lonely and hungry and shivering. But because this incident tested my physical limits to the max, I could always recount on it whenever I am going through hard times. So I expressed hopes that my students would remember this GRIT camp in future whenever they encounter challenges.

I even concluded my facilitation by getting the class chairman to come up with an emotionally stirring positive statement “I CAN DO IT!”

After returning to school, I happened to have time to declutter my notes. I came across articles that say how children develop coping strategies more effectively when their teachers share their experiences. So I guess I was on the right track even though I was improvising.

The thing is, I don’t feel very resilient because I am currently struggling with parenthood. Although my mental health has improved since the time I wrote about being burnt out, sometimes my heart aches so much for my lost social life that I just want to shout hysterically at the Universe.

I guess when I have to model resilience in front of my students, I fake it pretty well. Haha.

Do you think you are resilient? Any thing you are doing to burnish your resilience?

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1733 sats \ 1 reply \ @endothermicdev 21 Feb

I love the idea of a GRIT camp and your work with these kids. It reminds me of my experiences (and now my son's as well) with boy scouts. Some of the best memories are built on hardship and resilience in the face of it. Just a few off the top of my head:

Setting up camp in a downpour.
Camping in the snow when the temperature is -18°C.
Getting lost in the back country while navigating with a map and compass and having to backtrack for hours.
Completing a week long backpacking trek.
All sorts of cooking disasters

One of the things we have the scouts do after every campout or high adventure is "roses and thorns." It's a time to reflect on the hardships and the highlights of the trip for each scout. In addition to describing a highlight (rose) and hardship (thorn) the scouts also come up with "rosebud" for something they're looking forward to next time. I think this time for reflection is very useful - a chance to put things in perspective and consider that, no matter how much one may have complained the previous day, everyone not only got through it, and nearly always made some good memories in the process. It's incredible what a difference even a single outing can make on a teen. I've seen a couple of them come back as almost an entirely different person.

1000 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 22 Feb

Thank you for sharing! Today was breaking camp, and I stole your highlights and hardships phrases (I have a thing for alliteration) to remind my kids to acknowledge the negatives but focus on the positives. From then on, I got them to unpack the word “resilient”. What qualities does it actually refer to? After dragging some responses out of their tired minds, I was able to establish that being resilient means being positive, proactive and determined.

We then learnt how to tie a paracord from the instructors. Everyone, including me, really struggled with the task at first. But many of the kids got it sooner than me and were able to finish tying their paracord. Some of them even taught me. Glad to see how the teacher now becomes the student

703 sats \ 2 replies \ @erict875 21 Feb

Interesting. What you are describing is known as the hormetic effect, the idea that we adapt to little doses of stressors such as physical exercise, extreme temperatures, deprivations etc, and this constant exposure to manageable stress makes us gradually stronger, more resilient. (I actually just read about it recently.)

In my case, it's physical training, mental training, that is, the ability to sit still, without moving, for an extended period of time. Also, I used to do fasting.

There's a lot to learn about oneself when testing one's limits, and continuously expanding them. It's empowering, and liberating.

50 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 22 Feb

Thank you for telling me about the hermetic effect. I will read up more about it

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @erict875 22 Feb

🙏 It's the hormetic effect (with an o, not an e)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormesis

688 sats \ 1 reply \ @dagny761 21 Feb

Your post is very encouraging to me- busy mom trying to stay abreast of this changing world.

I am grateful to hear of teachers who are thinking passionately and compassionately of their students- building them up in ways that will truly equip them to face adulthood.

I find myself in cycles of pushing through over-commitments, burning out, reevaluating and stepping back, then slowly over-committing again. Perhaps maturity would be to become better at saying No when stretched thin to avoid the burn out cycle.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 22 Feb

And remember: ‘No’ is a complete sentence.

625 sats \ 2 replies \ @Undisciplined 21 Feb

Do you think you are resilient?

Yes, but a lot of it is probably just my low time preference.

Any thing you are doing to burnish your resilience?

Parenting is a pretty good way to burnish resilience.

123 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 22 Feb

Will always remember that night in which my baby girl vomitted four times before my bedtime. Fun times!

Do you think parenting has improved you as a person?

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined 22 Feb

I think it has. At the very least, it's radically increased the amount I'm helping others (even if it's just going towards one particular person).

It's also created another dimension on which I can relate to others. That's made me a bit more empathic and sympathetic towards other parents.

455 sats \ 0 replies \ @cascdr 21 Feb

If you care about resilience get your kids into sports with a coach that cares but won't baby them. Quickest path to them learning resilience and self-efficacy.

170 sats \ 2 replies \ @koqoo 21 Feb

Resilience is the ability to adapt, recover, or bounce back from challenges, setbacks, or adversity. It involves maintaining mental and emotional well-being in the face of difficulties.

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 22 Feb

Which do you think is harder to maintain, mental or emotional wellbeing?

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @koqoo 22 Feb

quick answer: mental

although, when we refer to resilience we have to take into account all different aspects of well-being:

physical
mental
spiritual
financial

139 sats \ 1 reply \ @hasherstacker 21 Feb

I stack sats and hodl BTC. Stacking more every day. So humble and despised today. But I'm very sure, I'll be free and sovereign soon.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 22 Feb

Consistency is the key to success in life.

But why don’t you DCA just once a week to save on transaction fees?

128 sats \ 1 reply \ @k00b 21 Feb

Do you think you are resilient?

Not terribly so. I'd guess I'm pretty weak.

Any thing you are doing to burnish your resilience?

The main thing is not considering the pain required to get what I want and not quitting until I get it.

496 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 22 Feb

Dogged determination works

128 sats \ 2 replies \ @Bitman 21 Feb

One symbol of resilience is found in nature: the tall grass bends when moved by the breeze.

In a way, we are the tall grass - but as we are moved by the breeze, the breeze can't help but become part of us too.

We often get caught by our idea of what is self.

Best be fluid and dance.

21 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 22 Feb

That’s such a beautiful way of putting it. That the obstacles we go through get absorbed into the bloodstream n become part of us

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Bitman 22 Feb

The opposite of a flexible reed, or grass, is being a dry stick.

If we try to be rigid and resist change in our life, there's a possibility that our sense of self could snap or break.

Having a receptive, open mind - in the face of inner and outer change -we can be a lot stronger.

In many cultures strength is seen as unyielding, when evolution and what we see in nature around us suggests the opposite.

128 sats \ 1 reply \ @johnbnevin 21 Feb

Depends on the context, it's not all or nothing - you can be resilient enough to teach resilience to youngsters but not resilient enough to feel complete in other areas - or even behind the curve in resilience in other areas - at the same time. U CAN DO IT!

10 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 22 Feb

That’s true. Thanks for reminding me that I cannot always perceive things in terms of black or white. I CAN DO IT!

69 sats \ 1 reply \ @Enemy_of_the_state 24 Feb

76 days at sea in a life raft

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 25 Feb

Thanks! I watched part of it while doing housework. I think the fascinating thing is you never exactly know what you are made of until life tests you. But I’m not sure I want to be challenged as such haha

64 sats \ 1 reply \ @kakocuro 21 Feb

like a rock - hard as fuck, but wither with time :)

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 22 Feb

Sounds like my students’ resistance haha

64 sats \ 1 reply \ @Tef 21 Feb

The thing is, I don’t feel very resilient because I am currently struggling with parenthood. Although my mental health has improved since the time I wrote about being burnt out, sometimes my heart aches so much for my lost social life that I just want to shout hysterically at the Universe.