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The Realest People Don't Have a Lot of Friends

2495 sats \ 21 comments \ @0xbitcoiner 23 Apr FiresidePhilosophy

The notion that the realest people don't have a lot friends has long been a subject of debate. Some believe it holds truth, suggesting that genuine and authentic individuals attract fewer people but cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections. Others argue that the statement is pessimistic and discouraging, promoting loneliness and isolation.

https://m.stacker.news/27893

Building on this statement, I raise the following questions to encourage stackers to argue for and against these ideas, share their personal experiences and reflections, and seek a deeper understanding of what it means to be authentic, have true friendships, and find our place in the world.

What does it mean to be a "realest" person?
What is the relationship between authenticity and the number of friends?
Is it possible to have many true friendships?
Are loneliness and isolation inevitable consequences of being authentic?
How can we cultivate authentic and meaningful relationships?

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1 reply \ @TheWildHustle 23 Apr

Zap

81 sats \ 0 replies \ @0xbitcoiner OP 23 Apr

https://m.stacker.news/27909

0 replies \ @0xbitcoiner OP 23 Apr

Ez Mil & Eminem — Realest

396 sats \ 3 replies \ @StillStackinAfterAllTheseYears 23 Apr

Non-organized responses off the top of my head:

I'm not sure how I'd define "real" here (I kind of hate the NPC notion some people use). But going with "authenticity," I'm not sure it's a restricted by a number as much as the ability to spend time and energy on friendships. To a degree this is a variation of wide vs deep (#498633), but instead of knowledge, it's friend groups.

I don't think authenticity is in any way a link to loneliness and isolation. If you're spending your time going deep into friendships, that's the antithesis of isolation. If anything, I'd feel that people who go wide, with tons of shallow "friendships" that have nothing behind them, are much more likely to feel lonely.

I do think the number of deep friendships someone can have differs a lot because of a lot of factors (including introversion, but also things like age - how many of us had more deep friendships as kids at least partially because of the time we spent with so many other kids all day? -- and probably some intangibles).

I also can't really imagine trying to quantify my deep friendships. I've often only realized how strong a connection was well after it firmly took root.

249 sats \ 2 replies \ @Undisciplined 23 Apr

I like this response a lot.

I also think some people conflate being a miserable bastard for being authentic.

86 sats \ 0 replies \ @elvismercury 24 Apr

I also think some people conflate being a miserable bastard for being authentic.

Jesus, truer words were never spoken.

16 sats \ 0 replies \ @StillStackinAfterAllTheseYears 23 Apr

Yeah, very true.

173 sats \ 4 replies \ @elvismercury 24 Apr

It's hard to quantify, and I guess you'll have to take my word for it, but I think most of the people around me, even those who aren't giant fans of mine, would agree that whatever else is true, I'm pretty fucking 'real' if that means saying what you think and telling the truth as best you can.

And I have not suffered in the having-of-friends department one iota.

So I'm inclined to agree w/ @Undisciplined's take, that most of the time, being "real" or "authentic" is shorthand for being an asshole. And yeah, those people have fewer friends, and deserve to.

37 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined 24 Apr

One of my best friends growing up maintained that lying is too much work. That’s how I feel about being disingenuous in general.

I think being openly yourself is a great way to filter people out of your life who aren’t going to add value and find the people who will.

27 sats \ 2 replies \ @Fabs 24 Apr

I'd rather have a circle of honest asshole's, than a circle of people that constantly agree with you, only to talk behind your back about it.

10 sats \ 1 reply \ @elvismercury 24 Apr

Both have their uses, I guess, but it's not a dichotomy.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs 24 Apr

We ain't gonna be friends, fren.

16 sats \ 0 replies \ @Kontext 28 Apr

If you're number one, you'll always be alone. Hence the number.

16 sats \ 0 replies \ @Satosora 24 Apr

I believe in this. There are one or two good friends that you will have for life. The other people dip in and out of your life, depending on their needs.

16 sats \ 0 replies \ @nkmg1c_ventures 24 Apr

Shit i'm real as fuck

101 sats \ 1 reply \ @SaloonCat 24 Apr

What does it mean to be a "realest" person?

The quote means nothing because it hinges on a word that's used meaninglessly. Like so many words and expressions that are coined and quickly forgotten, it exists to signal being part of some group rather than to communicate. Based, or something.

If it were an existential concept aimed at describing some kind of Sartrean fulfillment, it wouldn't be communicated using that word.

It vaguely suggests retaining elements of black ghetto culture when you become wealthy through rap music. Real talk, keep it real, fr fr. - it's all nonsense.