The prospects in Indian Matchmaking and Jewish Matchmaking have got it all wrong. They come up with a comprehensive wish list regarding their non-negotiables when it comes to finding a partner. A list that comprises physical attributes, personal traits and professional accomplishments.
Which is all fine and dandy when you want to fall in love with your soulmate and live happily ever after. But what people don’t realise is that when shit hits the fan, as it inevitably does, what you desperately need is someone who can stay unflappable.
Okay, so stay unflappable sounds cryptic. What does it entail, anyway? Let me flesh it out with two anecdotes that happened to me just this week.
On Thursday, my wife was putting our two children to sleep while I was preparing to shower. All of a sudden, I heard popping sounds. Before I could respond, all the lights in my house went out. My home was plunged into total darkness. My daughter started crying. Not a conducive environment for calmness to prevail.
It was a long-drawn ordeal, but to cut a long story short, our electrician came close to midnight. It turned out that our electrical cables in our circuit board had burnt.
Our electrician installed new cables and due to his hard work, some order was restored in our home. I wish I could say that that was the end of it, but our electrician said that we ought to look into changing the electrical wiring of our entire house soon. Our house was old, so the electrical cables and system needed an overhaul.
Guess what my wife told me at dinner the next day? She unveiled her plans for renovation, suggesting that here was the chance to build an extra room out of our relatively spacious living room and incorporate a long island concept into the kitchen. Spending money sucks, but she declared, “It will be money well-spent.”
Staying unflappable means that you will want a partner who can perceive a crisis as an opportunity. No point dwelling on things that you can’t control.
We had an emerging cockroach situation, so my wife laid a trap and sprayed our shoe cabinet with a water-based insecticide yesterday. I opened up the sock shelf, only to find 3-4 cockroaches scurrying around.
There was no time to waste. We took up our respective roles instinctively. My wife sprayed like mad; I gathered the struggling roaches with tissue paper and threw them into a plastic bag. She picked up the eggs with a pair of chopsticks. No screams, just hard-nosed determination.
Staying unflappable means the ability to work with your partner as one half of a pair of chopsticks because you know that s/he has your back.
In conclusion, when you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, don’t become preoccupied with physical appearances and credentials. You want someone who can swiftly open up an umbrella when shit hits the fan.