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There is no one-theory-fits-all, for any societal question.
Yet, as you mention South Korea, let me briefly shine in.
A few factors that play a role here, in random order:
  • Extremely hard to re-enter the workforce as a woman after giving birth.
  • Women are breaking free from societal conventions on how they are or are not supposed to behave. Being baby factories is one of them
  • Women are still supposed to bear most of the burden of raising a child. If my son gets sick, the school still by default calls the mother rather than the father to pick him up. Mums are expected to come right away, even if they have a job
  • No clear working hours. A company has to freedom to call you in to come work on a Saturday or Sunday. How is one expected to raise a family in such environment.
  • Feeling of unfairness between genders
  • Many men also don't want to have children anymore. As a man, you are expected to be able to buy a house to enter the marriage. Housing has become extremely unaffordable for many
  • Many now-adults experienced traumatic childhoods. Either coming from broken families (remember, the previous generations experienced war, and other societal unrest) either experienced the extremely have burden of cutthroat competition in education. They just don't feel like they want their children to experience the same thing.
  • Some people are disenchanted with society and government. They don't feel like they own society anything, including assuring its survival.
  • Complete fatalism towards the future
  • Some people, if they are finally financially secure, feel like they finally have some time for themselves. Why would they burden themselves with raising kids.
  • ... (there are many more, but I'll end up ranting if i keep going)
These are all observations. I want children. But that's my personal choice. Many friends don't want to. That's their choice. I completely respect their choice. They all have their reasons. No woman or man should be forced or expected to have kids. Similarly, people should respect other people's choice to have children.
Bitcoin will not solve this. This is more than just a fiat problem.
These are all observations. I want children. But that's my personal choice. Many friends don't want to. That's their choice. I completely respect their choice. They all have their reasons. No woman or man should be forced or expected to have kids. Similarly, people should respect other people's choice to have children.
Very well spoken! Human freedom is always above everything!
And I would never force anyone to do anything!
But addressing the root problem could bring them back to the idea of having children.
As I saw it in my class. Most of the points you mentioned are comparable to rural Germany. But people forget the long term benefits of having a family and see the short term opportunities. Social media is another driver of this issue.
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What are the long-term benefits? Please don't answer me "having someone to take care of you in your old age." I have a daughter and I don't expect or believe that I should be her responsibility in the future. If she wants to support me, it will be her choice, not her obligation. Taking care of my old age is my responsibility from now on, since I am young.
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To name just a few long-term benefits:
  • A sense of purpose in life
  • Passing on your legacy and values
  • Emotional resilience and health
  • Learning a new level of empathy
  • Greater involvement in your community
  • Shared responsibility with your partner that brings you closer together
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I have a kid. I can relate to many of the points you make, as a parent.
Yet, I don't think any of those benefits are unique to parents. Childless people can achieve similar benefits. I've seen it a lot around me. Truly achieved people. Be it through their family, their friends, or even their job.
On the other hand, I see lots of parents who try to compensate for their miserable lives by trying to live through their kid. The kid is a tool to fill a void.
The above opposition I made is on purpose, to make a point. I do believe there are also miserable people without children, as well as truly achieved people who have children. A few friends come to mind.
What I'm trying to say is, that one will get further in understanding childless people by casting away any feeling of judgment. Having/not having a kid does not make one better or worse. Being a great or crappy person makes one better or worse.
Speaking based on my experience in Korea (and to a lesser extent, Europe). I did not live in rural Germany, so I cannot relate to your experience there.
Caveat, I did, at some point, not so long ago, think having children was the way to living a purposeful life. It works for me. Yet, I've talked long enough with people who do not think this way to realize it was short-sighted of me. There are many other ways.
This rant is not aimed at you. I went a bit off-tangent. You seem to be very respectful towards other people. I did not think I'd be writing this much~~
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107 sats \ 2 replies \ @bief57 25 Nov
I just felt like you stole my words. I have exactly the same opinions that you have given. The only thing that I would attribute to being exclusive to parents is the immense love that is born when you have a child, it is an indescribable love that you will never experience if you do not have children. You can love your partner, your parents, your siblings, friends, your pet, but that love will never compare to the one you feel with your children. It hurts to say it but being objective it is only a trap of survival, of biology. Just as sex is delicious, divine and great for trapping living beings and thus procreating and ensuring the survival of the species, the love for children is the same. That desire to leave a legacy is rooted in the same thing.
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I just felt like you stole my words.
I could say the same thing, you also expressed pretty well what I was trying to convey.
I agree with that feeling of immense love towards the kid. It's indeed indescribable. For the vast majority of parents, it comes naturally. Sadly, I've met a few people for whom this feeling of unconditional love wasn't natural. Luckily, some of them come around and feel that way eventually.
But not all. So, it's good when people know themselves well enough to know that bringing a kid into this world is not something for them—too many mentally damaged people in Korea. Damaged to the point where this strong biological survival feature got suppressed/destroyed due to the environment they grew up in.
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140 sats \ 0 replies \ @bief57 25 Nov
The only thing I know about Korea is what I've seen in documentaries or read, and I've seen a lot about the great mental pressure both in studies and at work, well, you said it yourself, the pressure is so strong that socially it has broken all biological instincts for reproduction. I also know people who said they wanted to have children but in the end they didn't even take care of them; here in Latin America, paternal abandonment is very, very common, sadly.
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