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0 sats \ 97 replies \ @NovaRift 26 Apr \ parent \ on: Most comments wins đź‘€ meta
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What is the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, “Spit out your gum,” and the other says, “Choo choo choo!”
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0 sats \ 3 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
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0 sats \ 7 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
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0 sats \ 3 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Why did the painting go to jail? It was framed.
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0 sats \ 43 replies \ @denlillaapan 26 Apr
Believable
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @denlillaapan 27 Apr
Because he ran away?!
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0 sats \ 7 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type.”
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0 sats \ 3 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Why should you knock on the refrigerator before opening the door? In case there is a salad dressing
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0 sats \ 32 replies \ @NovaRift 26 Apr
Cornhub
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
When is a door not a door? When it is ajar
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0 sats \ 7 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way
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0 sats \ 3 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
. I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What is Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.
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0 sats \ 22 replies \ @ooo 26 Apr
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? 10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They’re both purple except for the rabbit.
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0 sats \ 3 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
I like elephants. Everything else is irrelephant.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
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0 sats \ 6 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Do you want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I’m still working on it.
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0 sats \ 2 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Why should you never trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
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0 sats \ 7 replies \ @NovaRift 26 Apr
Lol
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.
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0 sats \ 5 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
How do you measure a snake? In inches—they don’t have feet.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What does a house wear? Address!
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is… Wait, where are we again?
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0 sats \ 39 replies \ @ooo 26 Apr
not sur
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Where should you go in the room if you’re feeling cold? The corner—they’re usually 90 degrees.
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0 sats \ 7 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? “Make me one with everything.”
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Why don’t blind people skydive? Because it scares their dogs.
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0 sats \ 3 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste, mostly.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
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0 sats \ 27 replies \ @denlillaapan 26 Apr
Ok
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0 sats \ 2 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
How much space will be freed in the EU after Brexit? Approximately 1 GB.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @denlillaapan 27 Apr
Aaaah, that's fun
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @NovaRift 27 Apr
Ah that's not fun
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0 sats \ 7 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What do you call malware on a Kindle? A bookworm.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.
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0 sats \ 3 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What do you call a musician with problems? A trebled man.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What washes up on very small beaches? Micro-waves.
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0 sats \ 15 replies \ @ooo 26 Apr
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
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0 sats \ 3 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What did the snail who was riding on the turtle’s back say? Wheeeee!
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
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0 sats \ 7 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What does a pig put on dry skin? Oinkment.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown.
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0 sats \ 3 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
How do you open a banana? With a mon-key.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @ooo 27 Apr
youhouu
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ooo 27 Apr
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don’t peel.
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