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I didn't feel like talking about this sooner, but Thursday my wonderful mother in law passed away, and Friday I lost a close friend who I have known for almost 50 years. Looked at objectively, my mother in law had a good, long life. She would have been 96 next month. That she lived so long doesn't make her death any easier for her loved ones.
As for my friend, he has been battling health issues for a few years now. His death was not a complete shock, but again, it doesn't make it any easier. I'm at an age when if an old school friend dies, no one says, "wow, so young." That provides no comfort.
It seems like only a few years ago that we were teenagers, with big dreams and endless possibilities.
Now the best man at my wedding is fading fast. He refuses help of any kind, medical or otherwise. He made some choices that have led to a lonely, hopeless, destitute and premature old age. He welcomes the end and hopes it comes soon. He texts me each morning to express his disappointment that he's still alive.
I don't know why I'm posting this. SN has been a nice distraction the past few weeks, but my attention is elsewhere.
Dark thoughts on a sunny spring Monday morning.
this territory is moderated
36 sats \ 0 replies \ @orto 3h
I am sorry for your losses. I think humans are the only creatures that live knowing they will die. But how many of us realize this fact? And why are we like this? Your article brought these questions to my mind.
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1057 sats \ 1 reply \ @elvismercury 10h
Were you a Spinal Tap fan? There's a line (can't find a clip) where they're standing at Elvis's grave.
Derek: It puts things into perspective. David: That's too much fucking perspective!
I've been in a similar mode to you for a while, due to similar reasons. The main takeaway through it all was to try to force myself to acknowledge that the same fate is coming for me, just not yet. And to ask whether I'm living in a way that, when it arrives, I'll be ready, or ready as I can realistically be. I have typically not enjoyed the answer.
It's funny, bitcoiners talk about "fiat mindset" all the time, but my strong suspicion is that we're just as sick with it as anyone, and even fat btc bags obscure the truth that we're finite, that everything precious will be taken, and that it requires both strength and foresight to live in acknowledgement of that truth, to build and "invest" in life and in ourselves in a way that gives a good accounting eventually.
The method for doing so is as old as time. There are probably other methods as well. None of them have got easier.
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I was a huge Spinal Tap fan. It's been a long time since I've seen it and I don't remember that line. I have to watch it again. Thanks for the reply. It kind of echoes my thoughts. All the cliches seem silly: "Make each moment count." "Live each day like it's your last."
Stoicism really is the only thing that makes a damn bit of sense to me.
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36 sats \ 0 replies \ @j7hB75 4h
Thanks for sharing, Siggy. I'm sorry for your losses. My condolences. Losing someone close is never easy.
I'm not "old" yet, but as I get closer to my own midpoint in life, thoughts of mortality naturally become more present. I think it was a good decision to post here. Just putting your thoughts into words can be a powerful, cathartic release. You're in good company, and I’m sure you’ll feel that in the responses you receive to your post.
We all face death eventually, and learning to be at peace with that reality is one of the few things truly within our control. Time doesn’t always heal every wound, but it does soften the pain. Keep posting if it helps. Writing can clear the mind, and reading others' thoughts can offer comfort or even just a bit of healthy distraction.
Wishing you peace today and in the days ahead. 🧡
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36 sats \ 5 replies \ @grayruby 10h
Sorry to hear about your mother in law. 95 is an impressive run.
I have been experiencing something similar lately. My aunt died recently, my wife also lost one of her aunts and a close friend of my parents passed away last week.
Gonna be in your state later today. Just waiting on the wife and kids so we can hit the road. We are heading to the Berkshires region in western Mass. Have you been there?
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I hear it's beautiful, but I have not spent much time there. I did go to Stockbridge many years ago, but I don't have specific memories. Some of my family and friends go every summer. My wife is more of an ocean beach than mountain person.
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36 sats \ 3 replies \ @grayruby 10h
My wife seems to want to travel to places that remind her of where we live.
I am sure there is some ulterior motive like trying to get me to look at houses in the area. Haha
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I really like the mountains. I think you'll have a great time. I love going up to the Adirondacks to get away from it all every few years. Sometimes I drag my wife and daughter with me.
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36 sats \ 1 reply \ @grayruby 10h
Supposed to rain later in the week. Hopefully not too much. Anyways should be fun. Bringing our puppy dog too. Hopefully she doesn’t mind the long car ride too much. Vet gave her some meds to make her calm. I think we might be finally ready to hit the road. My wife might be the only person on earth that can get up at 6am and still not be ready to leave at 9 as planned. Haha
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My wife is the same. On vacation days I'm ready to jump in the car at 4am
36 sats \ 0 replies \ @kurszusz 7h
I'm sorry for what happened (yes, I know...it's easy to write this from about 8000 km away)... Try to relax and do something that will take your mind off things... Go hiking, go on a trip for a few days...it will definitely help. I hope you recover from this situation soon and feel better!
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36 sats \ 0 replies \ @flat24 8h
I regret your loss, and I send my condolences ... It is never easy when a loved one is going, whatever it is.
He texts me each morning to express his disappointment that he's still alive.
I love being alive and since I discovered Bitcoin, I feel happier than ever because I am alive (allow me to highlight that I am a newcomer) and although I find it quite difficult to understand this perspective, I know that we do not all think the same or that we have the same mental abilities to lead life. It is sad to know that someone complains to remain alive, and that there are those who yearn to have a blow of life and can no longer.
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Sorry Siggy. My thoughts and prayers for your family and friend.
It's hard to know what to do or say when death rears its ugly head.
I don't know why I'm posting this.
I'd been in a fight with my S.O. when I read your post, and I wanted you to know that your words fell exactly when and where I needed to hear them.
You have reminded me - and maybe others - when nothing else could, that there are things more important than my own selfishness.
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I'm so sorry for your and your family's losses, and for what you're dealing with with your best friend. I've lost my share of friends (and in recent years have hit the point where no one says, "wow, so young" as well), but I don't think it ever really gets easier.
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Sorry Siggy. Please send your wife our condolences.
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I will. Thanks
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condolences on the loss @siggy47, it seems like blasts by in the blink of an eye.
i have one of those digital picture frames and everytime i see pics of the kids or even my pics from 20 years ago i think, 'fuck it seems like just yesterday'.
it's too bad about your friend as well, very sad when people have such terrible health that they just wish for death, very depressing. My nans a bit like that now and it's sad to see them suffer, even when a good chunk is self-inflicted over the years
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The guy who's suffering now is a forty year vegetarian, health and supplement salesman and spokesman. He has not been to a "western" doctor since he was a kid. I tried to drag him to an urgent care literally across the street from his apartment, but he refused. He has a growth on his neck and has dropped 90 pounds in three months.
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It's hard being friends with someone who is "special needs."
I think if you are led to this and convicted that you are put in this earth to be a support for this person, then that is what you have to do.
But if it's too much, you can also know when to let go.
Or let go a bit.
Moderation in all things.
Balance is hard.
Condolences also to you and your wife.
Thank you for your work on stacker news, and I hope you will find a way back to the sunny paths.
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I’m 45 this year, and knowing that a college acquaintance has passed on has been very sobering for me. I can’t imagine how you feel.
It’s both a privilege and a curse that your best friend chooses you to share his innermost intimate thoughts with. Stay connected, yet detached
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36 sats \ 1 reply \ @Riberet 11h
My condolences to you Mr. Siggy, I hope you and your family are well.
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Thanks very much
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Yes, know the feeling. Life is precious but presents many challenges. For some it gets very difficult to continue. All you can do is try to support those you care about, and take care of yourself. These days I enjoy work more than ever- when younger I mostly avoided it, but now the question is how much longer can I continue.
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RIP
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36 sats \ 0 replies \ @OT 12h
Sorry to hear that.
I'd hate to get negative msg from a close friend about hoping for death every day. That would weigh anyone down... Got to stay positive!
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